How am I supposed to get permission to take child abroad when no contact whatsoever with ex?

[chchchchanges1]

Name changed.

Would really appreciate advice. I have been abroad with dd a few times (Spain and France) with no issues. But i'm looking in to travelling to Orlando in the next year or two. I realise that American security will more than definitely require some sort of permission letter stating I can legally enter the country with my dd (even if not, I wouldn't want to risk it after paying out for flights and the holiday etc).

So, brief background.

DD is 9yo.

Ex is on birth certificate so has PR even though we weren't married.

No contact with dd since he left when she was 1 year old.

No idea where he is or where any of his family lives.

No court orders or residency orders or anything are in place.

So how would I go about getting permission to take her to America?

Would a signed letter from a lawyer be enough? Or would I need to go to court for permission? Can anyone advice of what specific type of order I would need to apply for, whether or not a lawyer would be required, and the costs involved?

I would preferably like this type of permission to be longstanding and I would like to apply for it before booking the holiday (as opposed to just getting something from the court stating that I can take her to Orlando from X date to X date) so that I don't have to keep applying for permission every time we want to travel somewhere.

Would I therefore be best off applying for a residency order which would allow me to take her out of the country for 28 days?

Is it possible to apply for this if I have no way of contacting my ex to tell him what is happening?

Can someone advise me if i need a lawyer for this, or if i can do it myself? The costs involved going it alone vs with a lawyer? And exactly how i would do it, without a lawyer?

Thanks.

Actually, I think UK border control is too lax regarding children travelling.

Every time it's happened to me or someone I know it's been on the way into the UK - Pisssssedofff was also questioned on the way into the UK from France. Assuming this isn't just directed at UK citizens, it must be bloody tedious getting in from Spain when the mother by default has a different surname from the children.

I would definitely consider changing your DD's surname to yours though.

Unfortunately, OP would also need bio dad's permission to do this also.

I never got questioned when leaving South Africa with ds, who has a different surname to me, back on 2008 - nor on arrival in Scotland.

Dh was staying on for an extra week so wasn't travelling back with us.

Ds was 7 at the time.

Not sure if it's since then that South Africa has tightened up its systems or whether we were just fortunate. Maybe I just look honest

I I think SA rules changed fairly recently.

Next time we go to SA, ds will be 16 (or even 17) and dh will be travelling with us both directions. If he's not, got any reason, I'll need to check out their regulations. I don't have a clue where his birth certificate is - I've used his passport any time I've been asked for it (eg registering at primary school).

Agree with prh47bridge about applying to court. But do make a concerted effort to contact him first (the court will need to be satisfied that you have done this before making any order in his absence). If he has not been in contact for so long, I presume that he would not care if you went abroad.

In terms of the offence of child abduction, it is a defence to show you have taken all reasonable steps to communicate with the other person but has been unable to communicate with him so that would be likely to cover you against potential arrest.

BUT I have heard that US customs can be difficult and will sometimes request written evidence of consent. That would ruin your holiday, so that is why I would err on the side of caution in terms of a court order.

I have taken my DC abroad several times (no contact with ExH) and kids have his surname.

On leaving Portugal (to come home) my DD (then 7) was asked who I was but she just said "my mum" and there were no problems.

That said we are going away at half term (abroad) and I will take birth cents and my pay slips this time.

My mum has taken DC abroad (without me) and when flights were booked (over the phone) they advised a letter of permission from me, which I did. But I guess that would be because they were travelling with an adult who didn't have any PR.

Yes pretty& four the SA immigration rules changed to limit child trafficking. They may change back again because they have resulted in a huge drop in tourism from China (where full birth certificates are hard to come by).
If both parents are travelling into and out of SA with the child then all you need is their passport and full birth certificate. However if only one of you is with them then you need an affidavit signed within 3 months of the date of travel by the non travelling parent(s) and notarised (eg signed and stamped by a lawyer).
It's a real PIA for parents like the OP. I gather parents have had to go to court to get a court letter.

http://www.dha.gov.za/files/ParentalConsentAffidavit.pdf

http://www.dha.gov.za:8086/index.php/statements-speeches/621-advisory-new-requirements-for-children-travelling-through-south-african-ports-of-entry-effective-1-june-2015

http://www.britishairways.com/cms/global/pdfs/SouthAfricannrequirementsforrminorstravellingginternationally200515.pdf

OP mediation is an English thing it's not necessary in Scotland we can go straight to court. We also don't have the no legal aid unless domestic violence rule so you may be eligible for help with costs.

You're best option is to contact a solicitor to discuss your options. You may be able to get a residency order which can also state that there is no contact with the NRP - this is what I have for my eldest 2.

Something to be wary of is that the courts will attempt to find him to serve the writ - if he doesn't show up to the hearing your application will go undefended & be granted but if he decides to be an arse & show up claiming a load of shite about how you've kept his child from him it could turn into a long drawn out process

Out of interest, do you have to attempt mediation if there's historic DV? DH and I want to take DS1 to Spain next year, we're attempting to change his surname through the courts (to match ours and DS2's) before we apply for his passport. XP has PR, unfortunately.

If we're not granted that order, and I have to apply for his passport using his birth surname, would taking his birth certificate and my birth certificate be enough to satisfy border control? I have no idea where my XP is now, and nor would it be safe for me to attempt to find out. He's been completely out of DS1's life for 4 years (he's 5). It's all such a ball ache - we only want to go to Spain for a week!

The rule with travel abroad is the same with changing his name. If your ex has PR, you need his permission. The only exception is if you have a residence order/child arrangements order for the child. The law on travelling abroad has got nothing to do with having the same surname or not.

The 24 month limit on evidence of DV was ruled unlawful - www.pinktape.co.uk/cases/24-month-legal-aid-cut-off-for-evidence-of-dv-finally-ruled-unlawful/ but I don't know what this has meant in practice.

Thanks for the link, Four. Regarding a residence order, would I be likely to be granted one, seeing as residency hasn't actively been disputed?

My understanding is that you would only be granted one if it was in dispute, otherwise it falls under the No Order Principle.

Oh bloody hell, what a faff this all is!

I have an adoption social worker coming to see us soon, so I'll discuss all this with her too - I'm hoping she can advise. We've been warned that DH adopting DS1 is going to be a long, difficult process too, so I was looking into various orders enabling us to take him on holiday in the meantime. It's all so longwinded, no wonder people just risk it at border control.

DD got stopped and questioned at border control in Germany when returning to the UK last year. She was travelling with her boyfriend and his family and got asked for evidence of parental permission. They did let her join the flight after some questions and she offered to call me so that I could speak to them, which they didn't do.

This was just a few weeks before her 18th birthday. We had no idea a letter was required and had been travelling abroad with her for years without written permission from her father, including to the US and had never been asked.

While the social worker May have some experience and may be well meaning, she is unlikely to be legally trained. You'd be better off getting proper legal advice.

Why do people always say this isn't an issue on these threads? Our dc had a different surname to us for a while and that absolutely was an issue on every flight we took with him.

It's also the law. It's all very well to advise people to risk the cost of a family holiday to the States but no insurer is going to pay out because you were advised online to 'just do it'.

And yy to getting legal advice. The sw might know but might not. And they sometimes profess to know things they really don't IME.

Ah I am going through this right now. What happened in the end did you travel?