Police report leads to Social services/council involved?

[Aleahim82]

Hi everyone this is my first time posting here but I always found great advice before just by reading the site ! I'm new to this kind of stuff so please if someone can answer my questions as I am very concerned.

Long story short, my husband and I had our last serious argument which ended up with me reporting him to the police for the first time. My reporting to the police was my final cry of help in dealing with an emotionally and verbally abusive and controlling husband - never physically. The report ended without any consequences for him, he wasn't arrested but I am in contact with victim support to help me deal with this in the best interest for me and our two children but also for him, I don't want him arrested, I just want separation. Today he messaged me saying he doesn't want to live anymore and because he didn't answer my calls for more than two hours I contacted the police again to ask for help, as I don't want anything bad to happen to him or for him to hurt himself. He eventually called back and he is ok, asking for forgiveness again and things like that..
My question is : with these issues between us, police being involved now, should I be worried about social services getting involved? We have our 2 boys that live with us in the same house and they have never been abused or anything by my husband no matter how bad things got between me and him. If the social services do get involved what should I expect?
Thank you so much for helping me on this!

I can't answer with certainty but the fact that you are protecting yourself and kids by pushing forth with separation will go hugely in your favour. Well done OP. X

If the children were present during the incident which led to you calling the police, then the police are obliged to send a report to social services. They do this to make sure the children are protected.

Once social services receive the report, depending on the circumstances, they may decide to take no further action or they may decide to investigate. If they investigate, they will arrange to speak to you, your husband and the children. They will also ask for information from the dc's school/nursery, gp and any other professionals involved with them.

Once they have done all that, they would then make recommendations based on what they find out.

You have nothing to be concerned about - only the police may make a referral in these circs with no other agency involved- highly unlikely to - and even if that happened you may get a phone call or a brief visit from a SW and thatwould be it.

Yes, I should have said. If ss investigate and they think the dc are fine, they would close the case and that's the end of it.

If the children are aware of these issues then that IS abuse. If he's out of your house now and you keep it that way then they will see that you want to protect your children if they are involved. Which they probably should be. And ignore the threats from the ex.

They may give you a phone call (if dc were present when police came). This is usually to see if they can be of any help. They often can be in cases like this. They were for me!

You are taking steps to safeguard, so they will only see positives in your actions.

As for your hubby, if he keeps contacting you with guilt trips etc. I would push for a non molestation order. Again, it will be seen as safeguarding and it is a milder step than pressing charges.
If he breaches this, it all falls on him if he gets arrested as he will have it all laid out to him what is expected with the non mol.

Well done for getting out! Stay strong and dont listen to his sob stories

This means so much to me, having someone who understands and supports me... Thank you everyone for your support and answering my questions! I am doing everything I can to make sure my children are safe and have a normal life and I can only hope this will be as painless as possible for them, the pressure of having their mum and dad in such bad terms is the worst thing for them and I never wanted to hurt them.
I haven't been contacted by social services yet, it's day 2 since the report was made, so I guess this is quite early... the decision I made to put an end to this is final and yes it is a struggle to keep my grounds but I'm doing this for myself and my children. I have to and I need help and I will take every step necessary to be able to call our house a home again, not a psychological battle ground. I can only hope for the best...social services are there to protect children when needed and I understand that perfectly. Thank you again

They may do, but they won't be coming in like the child snatcher so try not to worry.
I will say, if your relationship is volatile enough that you're phoning the police and he's threatening suicide, then the children are extremely likely to experience harm. Even if they don't get directl abused, living with domestic abuse is harmful in itself.
Do you want support to leave him?

I am meeting a solicitor and getting advice, I have never done this before.. I do not want to leave our house simply because a change in house/school/friends will be a change my boys don't need now, on top of everything else that's going on. He is considering leaving but hasn't yet...
A non-molestation order is my choice as well now so I'll see how this goes on...

If a non mol is already an option, then i would seriously consider accepting it now. It would help get him out, unless he is joint owner. I have no idea where things stand there. Your solicitor will though

Good luck with the solicitor tomorrow :)

Op well done for getting out.
I was previously in a similar situation with dd's Dad, been separated now since 2014.

Please buy yourself a book called 'why does he do that?' By Lundy Bancroft. It will make you realise so much. His behaviour with the suicide threats etc is literally, textbook.
Stay strong. Well done.

So you still living together in the same house ?

Hi I have had a situation and need some advice
So me and the ex had a verbal disagreement when dropping little one back (was at a friends) it was heated but short lived someone called the police shortly while waiting for my friend to collect me police arrived and 1st accused me of asult which was rubbish asked me what happened I told them thenly took my details and left a month later police call me out the blue about the insident and accused me of being a victim and that I dropped my child again rubbish they asked me to confirm information I refused to give any more details about the matter and they said they will be reporting me to social services for child protection I had time with them the 1st year but they left me alone in the end cos I proved I am a good mum and my child is safe loved and well looked after I'm now very concerned they will come back in my life and I'm worried I can't lose my child over a stupid verbal mistake please can anyone help

Just looking for advice my son has been telling school iv been hitting him so social services has got involved , then I got with my partner that iv now for year and we had a a couple of arguments where Iv had to call to the police I’m not taking any action but now I’m on the register for child protection iv been working with them to ensure my kids can stay with me but they have told me to stay away from my parter but he’s only been loving towards the kids I’m just wondering what I can do to keep my family together me my kid and my partner

You really need to create your own thread.

Your partner has been violent towards you and you want to stay with him - that won't be compatible with keeping your children in the end. Your partner isn't part of your children's family, and you need to grasp that being nice to the kids means nothing at all when a man is violent to their mum.

Looking for some advice please.
I was arrested a few weeks back for harrassment/stalking of my now ex partner. Long story short I'm pregnant with his child and when I told him about it he blocked my number. I got very upset went to his house and put several letters through his letter box asking him to come out and talk to me about the pregnancy. His response to that was to call the police and have me arrested. No threats or violence was involved. I have a son from previous relationship, the police referred me to social services and they are coming on Monday to see me and my son. I'm currently on bail with no contact with ex partner.
Will social services take my son away from me? I'm desperate, don't know what to do

You need to start your own new thread but to respond to your question no they won't take your child for this but you need to get some psychological support around your emotions and engage with your midwife.

Hi there I was wondering is someone can give some advise I have a ten week old baby and am currently going through anti social behaviour me and my beautiful baby boy live on a tenth floor flat. And there’s been a group of young boys going to my landing floor smoking weed, I asked them to stop smoking on my floor as I have a new born baby and one of the boys threatened to hit me they also have been burning the window ledges and have been partying with vodka bottles and music untill god knows what time iv also had herorin needles on my landing iv had to pick up with gloves and put down bin shoot if made multiple police references regarding this as my anxiety is terrible and I have been scared to leave my home incase I bump into them of course my sons safety is my main concern. So I am pushing for a move but the police have said they are referring social services the police man did say to me it’s nothing to worry about you are the victim but they can’t support you with a urgent move. But of course I’m in panic mood thinking why are they getting involved my main concern is of course my baby’s safety and my mental health with the impact of them making me fearful in my own hom well let’s say the least it hasn’t been nice. But what ell social services do??? Will they contact me by phone or will they come out unexpectedly I mean I have a lovely clean home and my baby boy is very well loved and looked after but it’s just put me on edge Iv never want social services involved in my life. I no I’m a bloody good mother! But of course hearing the word social services just rings alarm bells please please can anyone give some advice on what will happen thank you

Sorry I meant they can support me with a urgent move.. apparently but I just wanted to no why they are getting involved

@Tiggarx This thread is 9 years old. You would get more replies if you start your own thread with your question. Depending on the device you are using, there should be a start new thread button near the top of your screen.