Hello everyone and thanks in advance for the replies. I am a long-term poster but have name-changed for this one as it's a bit sensitive. Apologies in advance as it might be long.
The situation is that my dd age 13 has been suffering from mental health/behavioural problems for some years. I have been round and round for the last four years trying to get help via the GP, school, CAMHS, voluntary self-referral to SS, youth charities, police youth offending team, anyone I can think of. However, dd flatly refuses to engage or have anything to do with anyone who could offer any help.
Despite all this, due to her refusal to talk or participate in any assessments, she has no formal diagnosis.
Her father is not involved in her life due to his abusive behaviour in the past to her, me and my son, although my daughter has made much more serious allegations about him than me or my son have. I think it is very very likely that she is traumatised by his abuse.
Her behaviour is becoming more and more difficult and challenging. She has just come out of hospital after admission to a specialist in-patient unit after her second overdose this year. She has been refusing school since February and is now on the verge of being expelled. She is getting increasingly violent, to me, my elderly parents and my son who is younger than she is.
The worst incident was in July when she pulled a knife on me and my son. She was arrested for breach of the peace but the police did not take charges forward. I report all violent incidents to the police but this isn't doing anything to deter her.
I am worried sick about the effect on my son. He has had a lot to cope with in his life but has got through it all so far, until the knife incident. Since then, he has become much more withdrawn, lacks enthusiasm for doing things with his friends, and since dd came out of hospital he won't sleep in his own bed in case she comes in to his room in the night, frequently cries himself to sleep and basically, like me, he is just plain scared of her.
I have been saying to years to anyone who will listen that I cannot keep my son (and myself) safe whilst my daughter is at home. I am also not able to keep her safe in terms of her self-harming and dangerous behaviour. I have asked several times for temporary foster care for her to give us all some breathing space and maybe help her to manage her behaviour if she is somewhere where she feels she can't physically bully people. However, even after the knife incident social services have refused to help. They told me when she was in police custody that I had to find someone else to take her or else have her back home, and eventually I managed to find a friend who took her for a couple of days but then she destroyed property and stole money so that came to an end. I begged social services to help but they told me that because I was voluntarily asking for foster care then I would have to pay in excess of £350 a week for this, which I simply cannot afford.
Despite all these ongoing issues, SS closed our case in September. I believe that officially it's opened up again due to the overdose, but no-one has made contact.
Today, the youth offending worker told me that SS had not been straight with me about the legal position on getting some foster care for my daughter.
I cannot find a local solicitor who does free half hours to advise me what the position is. Does anyone on here know with certainty if there is any way I can get (free) foster care for dd due to her behaviour towards my son?
Many thanks in advance, and if you recognise me from this please don't say anything to identify me.