How can I get sole custody (if that's the correct term).

[EchoOfADistantTide]

I'll try and keep this brief...

DD is 16, not sen her bio father for nearly 14 years, I've had no contact with him in that time either, in any way, shape or form. He instigated the break in contact.

I wasn't married to her father, never lived with him, he doesn't have joint parental responsibility.

I've been married for 12 years, have a child with DH. DD's surname legally changed to DH's.

Have lived overseas for 11 years as an expat (not in mine or DH's country).

Trying to immigrate to DH's home country and are there now. New country's immigration want proof of sole custody or bio father's permission for her to immigrate.

Getting permission unlikely as I don't know where DD's father is.

Can I apply to the courts to get sole custody legally?

TIA.

Yes, you need to put adverts in papers to show you tried to find him. I know someone who put out a fb search for something similar and found him, even got details for CSA in the process.

Hmmm... thanks. Will this be something the courts would request? Do you know how I can get the process started?

Start with a solicitor.

You need to see a lawyer. I believe having them place an ad in the London Gazette is the correct way to start to prove you did try to locate her father.

It'll all need to be done remotely as I'm in North America, not the UK (DD and I are British, DH is not)

Does anyone know anything about getting his permission? I assume a letter written by him isn't enough and it'll have to be attested (?) officially?

If by chance I could find him, for him to give permission would be the easiest way, assuming I can a) find him and b) get him to respond.

I do know he's remarried and judging by the fact my DD found and followed him on Twitter, only to have him block her, makes me think his wife may be completely unaware of DD's existence. I don't know if trying to find himself and contacting him asking to do this for me, rather than having me involve the courts might be the way to go - more likely to make him comply.

Am not interested in involving CSA.

How much do you know about him? If you have things like previous addresses, date of birth etc there are services that find people's current addresses. We used one to trace the leaseholders on our house who had all disappeared. It wasn't hugely expensive and took a couple of weeks.

I can't remember the name of the company but you could google? Something like peopeltracer perhaps?

I know his full name, date of birth, last known address (up to 2007).

Sorry, to clarify, I'm in Canada, not the US if that makes a difference.

I didn't see an issue because DD is 16 and legally old enough to marry with my consent. In Canada, it seems that children are not independent until they're 18 or 19 (province dependent).

Canada is also part of the Hague Convention so it's interesting how you say the US views it.

We moved here from the Middle East - not the best place to have anything to do with children and child abduction issues. In all the years we were there we never hid anything but they didn't seem to care less what our family situation was and we stayed there legally for over a decade.

I will certainly look into lawyers on the register you mention, Fay.

Thank you both for taking the time to respond to my questions.

Thank you, hopefully I can get that sorted easily enough.

DD's father is named on the birth certificate but at the time she was born, he was automatically granted joint PR because we weren't married.

Sorry, should read he WASN'T automatically granted PR.

I wish he wasn't named on the birth certificate.

If your DD found him on twitter that means you or someone else could find him and contact him that way?

If he decides to block or not respond it doesn't give us much.

And given that he blocked DD on Twitter, I wouldn't hold out much hope of him responding. Ig he has to be found I think it needs to be done physically.

Yes it was just a suggestion of how to contact him. Dont dismiss it straight away, its an easy way to prove you have attempted to contact him from Canada. You did ask for ways to do it from where you are. So what if he ignores or blocks. At least you can say you tried and you will have proof.

Ah, I see what you mean. I thought you meant as a way of getting him to give permission, not as proof of my efforts.

Oh, no i dont really fancy your chances of getting his permission. The only thing that might persuade him is if he thought it would get you to go away quietly, if, as you suspect, he doesnt want his wife to know about DD's existence.