First post so bare with me, trying (badly) to keep the very long story short.
My nasty ex turned to drugs and dealing after we split and after 3 years of not seeing our 5 year old his mummy paid for him to get a barrister if he agreed to go and live with her in London (110 miles from where we live) and straighten himself out. Having been off drugs a whopping 6 months the judges awarded him progressive contact (I think that's the benefit of having a £700 an hour QC against an unrepresented single mum) - anyway so he doesn't drive but mummy said she would undertake however much travel was necessary to facilitate contact and they sprung it on me in the last minute at the final hearing that they expected me to do half the return journey. I had walked into this not suspecting for a second I would be expected to do any travel whatsoever so was completely unprepared.
His QC picked a point on the map as a half way point by car (his mum and me drive so would meet there) - I refused to agree so it was put to the judges. They also picked a train station in case she wasn't available to drive, st Pancras on account of me living in Leicester and them in London. Mine and my sons ticket and return journey costs £88 and takes 95 minutes whereas his is £11 and takes just 35 minutes so it is NOT half way by any means. I was also pregnant at the time so argued that I wasn't happy taking a young baby on a long train journey and the judges simply said dad would have to look after baby while I travelled. I was completly unprepared so had no counter proposal or anything and wasn't familiar with Leicester to London travel therefore I had nothing to offer in the 30 seconds I was expected give my counter-argument. Anyway so they got everything they asked for and that was ruled.
I simply cannot afford £88 every fortnight have been forced to drive to a different train station which is an hour away by car and the train journey is another hour and 45 minutes each way on top of that, which has been a nightmare and takes around a 7 hour return journey every other Sunday, but It is roughly a third of the cost of the direct train so I really have no choice.
I've been asking for around 6 months for him to agree an alternative that I can drive to by car and he can get to by train (between London and Leicester there are dozens of options), which is so much more suitable when travelling with kids. Why would I spend 7 hrs faffing on several trains and parking and driving and waiting and more trains with bags and drinks etc etc etc (and pay £40 odd for the privelige) with a new baby and a 5 year old when I could just stick everyone and all the bags in the car I pay to keep on the road as an essential family vehicle? Anyway he always says yes he'll help me agree an alternative as flexible is his middle name.. but never replies when I suggest a station and when it comes to the night before pick up time, he always denies all knowledge of any such conversation and I end up travelling yet again.
Anyway this brings us to now, my other half has a new job and now works weekends so he can no longer have our son so I really will be having to take my baby along for the ride every single time. But I'm not prepared to do that so I have told him he's left me with no choice but to take him back to court to ask them to amend the order to a true half way point that I can reach by car. I'm not happy to have to travel at allbut if I am I'm damned if I'm doing this ludicrous 7 hour return journey with two kids when all he need to do is stay on the train 20 minutes longer to meet me just outside of London! He argued it would eat into their quality time having to travel an extra 20 minutes so I've offered him an extra half hour and the difference in cash.. Can't say fairer than that surely..
Sooo my question is, has anyone else been ordered to travel when their ex has moved away, and secondly.. Am I being flipping unreasonable?? I'm going to apply to the court after pay day if he doesn't agree, this is his last chance. I'm terrified of going back to court because I will be representing myself and I just know his mummy will hire him a nice expensive solicitor and I'll probably end up losing custody completely to some last minute surprise counter-argument or something equally ludicrous because that's just my luck! But I won't sit back and do nothing, so I can and will do this :)
Sorry for the hugely long post. Thanks for reading.x