I finally got a NMO against abusive after he attacked me and broke my nose, damaged my knee and my jaw - he's been hurting me for years - physically, psychologically, emotionally, and when my daughter was born, he began to be aggressive towards her - and other things - in between bouts of being nice to her.
I negotiated a deal with him re house, school, maintenance, car, but before the papers were signed, he assaulted my daughter twice. I called the police, who told me not to give him contact, and he shouted 'the deal is off'.
So, I had to go to court to get the deal. But his legal team skillfully 'hid' my evidence in the bundle, and even omitted some of it, and his barrister wrote notes all over my position statement, so when the judge read it, she read barrister's comments as well. Unbeknownst to me at the time. Resolutely lost the case, and had the most awful financial terms put upon me and my daughter. I was a litigant in person as I can't afford legal counsel. I don't qualify for legal aid as I have just a bit too much equity in my home, which I can't sell, otherwise massive disruption to school and work life and I don't want to leave our community.
I can't get over the injustice of it. I already pay a high price because my injuries are life long injuries now and I need constant treatment for the jaw and the knee. But I am so poor. And he is not. And he has contact with my daughter, because judges deem it to be appropriate for him to do so.
Do I just get on with my awful financial situation, and the injustice of the injuries towards me, or do I fight back? Do I ask him for mediation? - although I've been counselled by domestic violence women's groups that as he is a controlling abuser, he would just use my mediation to harm me again.
Is this the lot of women who face domestic violence?
Do I just get on with it? After all, when he was in the house and abusive, I just got on with it for years? Is this what my life has been reduced to? I feel so powerless, sad, unable to feel get my head around how I cope with this. I am so pent up, I can't even cry, though I am bursting with pent up tears.
Any advice?