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Legal matters

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Original poster

Ex wants joint custody in name only

9 replies

Quatrefoil · 30/09/2015 06:52

We are in the middle of an amicable DIY divorce. I am the petitioner. Neither of us is using a solicitor.

Ex is planning to apply for a council house once our property has been sold. There is next to no equity in it, debts to pay off and he is on a low income. The council have told him he will be entitled to a one bed flat. He wants me to ask the court for a document showing that he has 50% custody of our DC so that he can get a 2 bed house. He doesn't actually have or want 50% custody - he currently has them 1 overnight per week plus a couple of shorter visits.

I explained that we are getting a simple divorce and not having a custody hearing and I don't think the court will just produce this document he is after.

Besides which, I would feel very uncomfortable with having a legally binding agreement, partly because it isn't the actual agreement, he only wants it to get a bigger house, which feels wrong and fraudulant. And partly because I feel I would be in a vulnerable position custody wise - he could insist on having them 50% (although I doubt he will) and I don't think that would be in the best interest of our DC at the moment.

Any advice or opinions?

OP posts:

JeffsanArsehole · 30/09/2015 07:00

Don't do it and for all the reasons you mentioned

onadifferentplanet · 30/09/2015 07:12

Don't do it, I would presume a legal document saying he has 50/50 would also mean he doesn't have to pay any child maintenance?

FishWithABicycle · 30/09/2015 07:13

Don't do it. I very much doubt it would work anyway, but even if it did, he really isn't a deserving case to get the huge benefit of a secure council tenancy and would be depriving a genuine family. He sounds like a knob (hence the divorce presumably)

Lweji · 30/09/2015 07:18

I bet he'd use it not to pay maintenance. And I'm sure he'd like the 2 bed, but it would be taking that 2 bed from families that actually need it.

Why isn't he having them for longer now?

SouthAmericanCuisine · 30/09/2015 07:30

There's no such thing as a custody hearing and courts won't just issue a document setting out family arrangements on request - the family court operates on the "no order" principle. To get a family arrangements order, you or he would have to apply to family court and the court will make a decision that they believe is in the best interests of the DCs - from experience, that is often not what either parent has asked for.

Even if he did have 50:50 shared care, and had the DCs for that length of time, other legislation hasn't caught up with the changes to family law, and he may find that he is still not considered the "primary carer" (and therefore not entitled to accommodation for the DCs) by his local housing dept unless he's in receipt of child benefit.

Original poster

Quatrefoil · 30/09/2015 07:37

He doesn't pay maintenance now due to having no money. He is starting a business and it's taking time to get on it's feet. He supports me in other ways - practical stuff, DIY stuff and having the DC to fit around my commitments. But he does intend to pay maintenance when he has more money.

He really isn't a knob but he can see things in a rather over simplified way. I don't think it will have occurred to him that if he takes a 2 bed house he will be depriving a family of it.

I know I really shouldn't do this (and actually have no idea how I would do it even if I wanted to - I would need to start a custody hearing wouldn't I? And need a solicitor, which so far I've avoided and can't afford anyway) but I'm worried because the amicability between us can be quite fragile at times - there is a lot of water under the bridge and still some repressed anger on both sides over the split. We try very hard for the DC sake to get on well and it makes life easier for all of us when we are friends. If I refuse him this he may well see it as me being unreasonable / unfair and life could become more difficult for all of us.

OP posts:

Original poster

Quatrefoil · 30/09/2015 07:39

That's interesting info, SouthAmerican, and just what I need to know. Thanks.

OP posts:

bloodyteenagers · 30/09/2015 07:48

He might also be in for a shock with regards to council housing. Unless he is vulnerable he might not meet criteria and they will encourage him to go private. Then there's a very long wait in a b&b or similar and he gets offered a studio/bedsit.

VimFuego101 · 30/09/2015 07:56

I also wondered whether he'd really get a property as a single person. Council houses aren't exactly abundant, and I suspect he would have to declare himself homeless (not as easy as just telling them he is; they will want to see an eviction notice and will not help if he leaves voluntarily) or they will push him to rent privately.

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