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Moving back home (abroad) with DC - please help

7 replies

NoMoreMrRight · 22/09/2015 07:51

I was hoping I could have some legal advice please (apologies, this may get long). Divorced for over two years now, 3 DC (two of them of pre-school age). I'm originally from an European country, have been in the UK for sixteen years now (most of those married). I have no family in the UK and essentially an inexistent network support over here.

XH hates me for leaving my marriage and constantly uses our children to 'punish me' (his words). He's consistently late by several hours when collecting them on his weekends even though he lives 10 mins away, cancels whole weekends with them for no reason, and more importantly he behaves as if he doesn't care much about them (one example of many: one of our toddlers was admitted to hospital with severe pneumonia a couple of months ago; he turned up three days later citing he was 45 mins away and that it had been my decision to break up the family and therefore should manage on my own). He currently sees them alternate weekends, and additional weeks at April half term and summer time (although he cancels all weekends throughout the summer in lieu of those two weeks, against the agreed contact order). I have emails from him noting that he wants nothing to do with our youngest as he believes I 'tricked' him into having them...

After a specially traumatic weekend where I needed to get to A&E to get stitches (accidentally cut my foot at home at 1am) and had to drag all 3 DC with me at that time because he couldn't be bothered to help even though he was just 10 mins away, I have now come to realise that I have no choice but to move back to my country of origin where my siblings, parents and close friends are; I cannot do this completely on my own any longer.

He has mentioned in the past that he would never allow me to return home with our DC so my question is on what the process would entail were I to take the matter to court and gain the right to move back home with them. Not currently working due to childcare expenses being higher than my salary (another issue as my career will no doubt suffer as a result; childcare costs back home are much more affordable so I would be able to work now), would I qualify for free legal assistance? Can I possibly go through the DIY route and not use a solicitor? What are the chances of me being able to win the case?

He's an UK citizen and my country of origin is in Southern Europe if that makes any difference.

Feeling very run down, lonely and stressed…..Thank you in advance for any advice.

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Collaborate · 22/09/2015 08:12

You won't get legal aid unless you're the recent victim of violence from him.

You need to apply to the court for "leave to remove from the jurisdiction". It's a type of specific issue order made under s8 of the Children Act.

You need to ensure that you are in a position to present a fully worked out plan (schooling, residence, financial support, keeping in touch with him) to the judge. You'll quite probably get it, based solely on what you've posted, provided that the plan stands up to scrutiny.

NoMoreMrRight · 22/09/2015 09:24

Thank you Collaborate.

To apply for "leave to remove from the jurisdiction", can I find the form online, complete it and take it to the court? Is there any cost for applying? And what are the timeframes for a case of this type to be approved? Assuming XH will put up all the obstacles possible... (sorry, that's quite a few questions).

I wouldn't have a job by the time I initially apply (wouldn't move without a job lined up obviously), would it be enough to supply the judge with things like my CV to show that finding work in the country would be feasible?

Thank you again

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Collaborate · 22/09/2015 09:36

Don't know where you are in the country, but I'm assuming it's either England or Wales.

This would be a good start for you. This is a government guide to the Children Act.

NoMoreMrRight · 22/09/2015 09:46

Thank you so much

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NoMoreMrRight · 22/09/2015 14:24

I have had a chance now to read through some of the links and it all seems so complicated, I don't even know where to start or what the first steps would be.... do you know if there are any charities /organisations that I would be able to ring for some guidance? Otherwise I might have to pay for a one-off session with a solicitor for some advice on how to get started.....

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Collaborate · 22/09/2015 15:18

I suspect the one-off session might be your best bet. Look for someone who is a member of Reunite.

NoMoreMrRight · 22/09/2015 15:24

Thank you Collaborate

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