Advice please - Joint mortgage between DP and ex - child involved

[missybct]

Hi all,

I'm asking this really on behalf of my DP - I've looked on the internet and found various accounts but we're getting to the stage where personal accounts or advice seems to be preferable. Also, I wanted objective and constructive advice, even if that means putting myself on the line.

DP and ex were together for 9 years - bought a house in 2007 just before the financial crisis - ironically, they took a 101% mortgage with Northern Rock about three months before they crashed. Long story attached to that but not particularly relevant (but can go into details if required).

Their son was born in 2009, and they broke up early 2014 after spending the majority of the last year apart but living together for the sake of son. It was a mutual decision - DP agreed to leave, with ex and son remaining in the house. DP went to live with parents, then house sharing for a while, then we moved in together in Nov 2014 (worth reiterating that I didn't know DP until AFTER he had split with ex).

DP currently is paying around ??300 a month to ex, normally more - this is to cover ??482 a month mortgage and his contribute towards their son - who we have 2-3 nights a week. DP ex, I'll call her A, is adamant that DP is required to give her more money and each month since around April she has routinely requested more.
A earns around ??1200 a month including the benefits she receives for their son.

Currently we live in a property about 10 minutes down the road from A - it's not cheap because of the area, but we had to move from the cheaper area we were in because a) was taking us 1-2 hours (with traffic) to get to A and pick up son and b) A refused to drop son over to us because of the distance. She doesn't drive - fair enough. So we moved closer, and now have to pay an extra ??150 in rent - again, area is better and we are closer to son so this isn't an issue really.

They also have a joint loan which DP pays around ??150 a month off - it was taken out in his name because she wasn't earning enough to be considered on it, but most of this money was used for home improvements.

DP pays majority of rent where we live, and I cater for the rest. I earn LESS than A, so we find month to month despite our combined income being relatively good we are short.

A is adamant she does NOT want to leave the house and has used various differing guilt tactics to ensure that DP doesn't push this agenda too often which we're used to. DP has absolutely NO issue paying Child Maintenance and is happy to pay more than the minimum amount - I believe in theory he should only have to give A around ??180 a month. However, because of the joint mortgage, he gives far more because A wants to stay in the house but cannot afford it alone.

DP is in a bind because a) he either wants to sell the house or rent it out, even if it is renting our to A and their son b) he can't just stop paying the mortgage because A wouldn't be able to afford it and could create arrears and leave son without. However, we have son 2-3 nights a week and pay out half whenever he needs something like school trips, uniforms etc. So it's pretty tough on all of us.

DSS (their son) wouldn't go without - ever. But A won't consider moving, although she is aware they will one day have to, she makes DP feel terrible for suggesting it. They can't sell the house just yet anyway because they do not own enough of it, but DP wants to start making arrangements - we've offered to seek advise from a financial advisor to see where we ALL stand, but she always dismisses it and the only time we can realistically get an appointment is the weekend - when we have son - and there is always some excuse on her part.

I understand her reluctance to leave - it's been her home for nearly 10 years and the place she feels safe. I don't want to push her and certainly not my DSS out and neither does DP. But at the same time, I find it grossly unfair on top of all the other shit we get, that DP pays for the home primarily because he's afraid they will end up in arrears. We've suggested that A gets her parents to buy DP out, we've suggested helping her find somewhere and offering to pay the deposit but it's met with stone silence and vitriol that we only want them out so we can afford to buy our own home (we want to buy, but not for a while!).

Legally - I don't really know where we stand. I work 40-50 hours a week including commuting and I just haven't had the time to sit down and wade through advice trying to pick out stuff that's relevant. As we can't seem to pin A down to go and see a solicitor or financial advisor, I wanted to seek advice myself.

Any thoughts?

Look at Schedule 1 Children act applications.

She can ask the court to secure her in the property while the child is below 18 but she needs to show that she can afford to live there.

Is there any equity? If not, they'd probably more likely go after him for the shortfall on sale.

Presumably he pays the ??300 in total, and not the mortgage on top of that.

At first glance, I suspect he'd struggle to find a judge willing to order the sale of the property.

If he wants detailed advice he should find a solicitor who is a member of Resolution.

Thanks Collabortate - appreciate the reply.

DP doesn't necessarily require the house to be sold - although that would be the preferable option - he just wants to be removed from the mortgage altogether.

I'm assuming that would require A to re-mortgage the property, and she is unlikely to be given a mortgage of that size on her salary/credit score as a sole applicant. I've read that there is the option for guarantor mortgages and her parents have the ability to support this (as A has claimed numerous times), however I suspect based on previous interactions between DP and exes parents that they feel it is DP's responsibility to pay for a) mortgage in FULL as well as b) full CM.

I imagine there is a small amount of equity as the house was bought in a poor condition and subsequently renovated quite well - although it was bought on the rising house prices I imagine looking at similar homes in the road that they will either definitely break even and more likely to profit.

A wouldn't be able to afford to live there I suspect - she is a lone parent who works but the property is 3 bedrooms with bills that are higher because of the size. She also has a separate loan she took out after DP left which she got for a ridiculously high APR due to poor credit score - so she's stuck with that too (despite being warned against it).

He'll be able to force the sale when the child is 18, and at least then he'll be entitled to half the equity.

Thanks again.

In the meantime if she continues to stay at the property, he's liable for the mortgage from the lender point of view unless he is removed from the mortgage.

However, by law (not lenders point of view), does he have to pay this mortgage? The lender is concerned with the money being paid - but excluding the mortgage going into the arrears without payment (and him being liable), is there anything that could legally have consequences if he doesn't provide his ex with a mortgage payment?

We'd obviously do whatever we needed to do to prevent arrears occurring whilst he's still jointly liable, however it seems like his ex is deliberately being obstructive (which is within her nature) by saying she needs to remain in the property (she doesn't) but wants DP to pay for it.

She's very stubborn generally and is unbearably unflexible when it comes to DP - it seems like she's digging in her heels and using DSS as a bit of a pawn to ensure she doesn't lose her home, at the same time as ensuring she isn't short of money at the end of the month.

There's nothing other than the mortgage deed to force him to pay more than any CSA assessment.