Promise not to take any of the house...

[buzz890]

My partner of 13 years has left me in the lurch. He has walked away from me and his 3 children and left the house. I can't afford the mortgage on my own and all I have is this house.

He has said that when I sell the house (I have no choice as can't afford to live here) he will not take any of the equity at all.

So my problem is this: how can I protect myself in case he changes his mind? Is there a legal document I can get drawn up and I can ask him to sign that says once the house is sold any equity will be solely mine?

Hope that makes sense and I really appreciate any advice.

you need to see a solicitor

Agreed - proper legal advice essential.

He may well feel like this now, but I have seen many peoples mindset change when a new partner arrives on the scene.

BTW I met a woman in a similar situation who rented out rooms in her house to students on an upmarket B&B basis. She was fortunate in being able to be very selective but was able to meet her financial commitments this way (wouldn't suit everyone, I know).

Good luck.

Whose names are on the deeds, I assume both of yours?

Unfortunately that's not an option as the existing mortgage wouldn't be transferable into my name as I don't have enough of an income.

I agree that it's likely he could change his mind which is why I want something in writing before putting the house in the market.

I will of course need to speak to a solicitor to get any legal paperwork drawn up but in the first instance I'm not even sure if that's an option so someone suggested asking on here if it's such a thing before paying out for costly legal fees (am on a very tight budget).

Has anyone had similar experience?

Both names on the deeds

What's the situation with maintenance? Would you be able to afford the mortgage with your income plus a contribution from your ex?

Obviously depending on the agreement re children it may be he is liable to pay maintenance.

I know this sounds like a very obvious thing to do but have you checked your "new" income as a single parent? Are you entitled to tax credits and so on? Use the "turn to us" website - they have a great benefits calculator and you can try out different scenarios anonymously to find out what you might be entitled to. Maintenance isn't taken into consideration when it comes to income for tax credit purposes so you may find you are better off than you thought.

Having gone through two difficult divorces myself there is absolutely no way I would trust someone in this situation. Over time I have found all promises go out of the window. Best to get legal advice and go from there and keep as separate financially as you can even if it means selling and downsizing (done that twice myself).

I assume you hold the property as joint tenants (which means if one dies the other inherits it) rather than tenants in common. As you are splitting up you will want first to "server the joint tenancy" and make a new will to leave your share where you want to. In addition you and he are going to be selling the house presumably for more than the mortgage after all costs are covered.

You want to get his agreement to not taking any equity in writing and using a solicitor is the best route to that otherwise he will be entitled to 50% of any surplus on sale. What sort of sum are we talking about in terms of the equity in the house?

Did he have the children with you or an earlier partner or wife?

Could you not take on a second job, take in lodgers, claim all tax credits etc and have him pay 20% of his income for the children to keep you in the house?

What you need is a deed of trust, that he holds his interest on trust for you.

An agreement of the type you've described would effectively settle any claim that you might make in the future under the Trust of Land Act. However, taking all of the equity in the property would be more than you're likely to be strictly entitled to under this legislation. The best the Act (TOLATA) or the Children Act could do for you would be to allow you to live in it until the children grow up.

I'd see a solicitor about drawing up a deed of trust. You need to speak to a conveyancing solicitor first, but if he delays signing the trust deed you'd need to see a family law specialist.

at best you would get a mesher order to keep the house until youngest is the age of 18 or finished full time education but under those circumstances he will be more likely entilted to the full 50% as he would have to wait an extended amount of time to recivere his share

But, worridmum, the ex has agreed to relinquish any interest he has in the house, so why should OP settle for what the law would give her?