I was suggested to come here and look and post about what I'm currently going through incase anyone has a similar experience or can advise me so here I am.
I married my ex husband in 1993. We separated Nov 1999 and he moved out a few months later. We have two children. He has paid maintenance payments for both and its due to end sometime this year for the youngest.
The mortgage for the house was paid out of his bank account - its in our joint names - but the money was deducted from the maintenance payment that I received.
When he first moved out we split everything in half and he agreed to give me the house as we had only had it for three years. He signed paperwork to send in to the building society but they refused to transfer it to me as I didn't have enough of an income.
He entered a new relationship and has since re-married. They had a house together which they sold and they moved to Canada about two years ago.
I had a relationship which ended, I moved away but carried on paying for the house as a safety net for myself and the children. I have a third child who is approaching 13 from this relationship. After that ended we returned to the house and have lived there since.
My ex husband several years ago decided he no longer wanted me to have the house without a financial settlement and we agreed that I give him £15,000 when I could.
About a year ago I proposed to my ex husband that I pay him the money in instalments and that the house be signed over to me - the mortgage is now quite small so I can't see why there would be an issue with the building society agreeing. He said he would consult someone and I have heard nothing since.
He is currently underpaying the maintenance that he was meant to be paying for our son by £30 a month. I emailed him approximately 2 months ago and he thought I meant he was overpaying to which I responded no underpaying if he added up the figures I gave him. Since then I have not been able to get any response from him.
I have emailed him since regarding sorting out details for the house and again he has not responded. I'm offering £3,000 per year which I would be given from my father to pay him.
There has been a considerable amount of work done to the house which was paid for by my father as it needed repairs and a new central heating system before we could move back in. I had £10,000 which I could have given my ex-husband before we moved in but it went on the work to the house, however I did speak to him BEFORE it was spent and he agreed that I could do that and understood why - my youngest son's dad was physically bullying my older son which is why I ended the relationship and it was important we move back to the house when we could.
I think I have found his address and I'm intending to go contact a solicitor next week about it but my concern is my position should he try to get more than what we'd originally agreed.
I have received no personal maintenance payments off him, no contribution towards the upkeep or repairs on the house and as I said the mortgage although its gone from his bank account has always been taken out of the amount of child maintenance payments I received from him.
I have never asked him for anything and never made any claim for any money or his pension and frankly I would just like this sorted out especially as our son is leaving school soon and maintenance payments will end.
I have found a document with his postal address on it and I know the company he works for and have his work email address.
I have limited financial means... I care for my father who is disabled and relies upon my help. My 13 year old son also has pervasive developmental disorder which means I also feel that I need to be there for him, his areas of difficult are more emotional with anxiety than learning as he is highly intelligent.
Can anyone offer me any advice or experience? Would he be successful if he tried to claim more of a settlement for the house? Could I use his pension as leverage if he tried? I don't want this to turn ugly and drawn out because frankly I don't have the financial means.
All advice and experience gratefully read.