Desertion or adultery?

[Jolene80]

Hi, am filling our divorce papers and not sure what box to tick.
he left, 3 weeks later I know he slept with other woman he is now living with. Since then found out they were speaking to each other on the phone (looked at his phone bills) before he left but cant prove anything happened before he left and he denies it.
He says he doesn't care what box I tick.
Advice please

The reasons for the divorce very rarely make any difference to the finances or arrangements for children. Also the public record, the divorce decree, doesn't record the reason and the other court papers are archived and then destroyed.

Desertion isn't appropriate. It means abandoning your spouse without his/her agreement and without good reason. In Scotland desertion is no longer in use and in England & Wales it is rarely used because the desertion has to be longer than two years and it can be difficult to prove someone left with the intention of deserting.

Adultery is sexual intercourse with a third party. There is a heavy burden of proof and unless you have a written confession or other evidence which cannot be refuted your husband could change his mind and deny intercourse took place. If concrete evidence of adultery isn't available unreasonable behaviour may be more straight forward in England & Wales and an inappropriate relationship can be used as a reason. Its different in Scotland.

If your husband is willing to agree to adultery then go for that. My ex left me and was with another woman, I was going to put the grounds as unreasonable behaviour but he said he would prefer adultery as to him unreasonable behaviour always made him think of domestic violence (he was a police officer so saw plenty of "domestics"). I stated adultery with unknown woman between date and date (I knew her name but didn't need to use it). He agreed and that was that - made no difference to me until I met DH, we wanted to get married in his family church but they have strict rules regarding re marriage - the only reson they would let us marry is because I divorced my ex for adultery!!