recent split access rights

[trekkiemom]

I've recently split from my ds dad and he has asked if he can have him weekends that he doesn't work. Since he is not on ds birth certificate if I allowed it and he refused to bring him back what legally can I do? Hes not on the certificate because he didn't attend with me when I registered ds. Please note he has a son from a previous relationship he doesn't see.

Any help would be wonderful

I wouldn't worry too much about this unless you've other reasons to believe the ex is a flight risk.

My advice would be to agree the contact arrangements, be very specific, and record via email and ask for an acknowledgement.

If the ex did not return with the kids you could easily get either a) an ex-parte order for immediate return (after an emergency court hearing without notice to the ex) or b) call the police, either way the kids/s would be returned home.

If you start up contact arrangements on the right foot you'll reap the benefits in the future by having a straight forward relationship with the ex based solely on whats best for your children. That alone is worth its weight in gold to you and your child.

I am assuming you aren't married to DS's dad? Can I ask the age of your son and how long you have been separated - has he been having contact since you separated - sorry to ask so many Qs but the detail is important really. Would your son be happy to go with his dad for a weekend, and have you got reason to think he might not bring him back, or is it just a general worry.

Legally both parents have equal right to their child. The fact that he isn't on the birth certificate doesn't really matter that much because if he is the biological father he could obtain Parental Responsibility (PR) without too much trouble. When parents are married both automatically have PR.

I agree with most of your post FT but not about getting an Order ex parte - I don't think you can do this, and yes the police would possibly agree to go and talk to the dad, but it's not always that simple, especially if there is no Court order in force.

The best thing is to sit down together and discuss contact arrangements, and as FT says, that is by far the best way for the child. It's very harmful for a child to know that his parents are fighting over him.