Hi OP
to everyone who's recommended me - very kind!
OP, I'll C&P your post and answer as follows:
I have 1 DS (3) and 1 DS on the way (26+3). DS1 is not biologically DP's however he's raised him as his own since he was around 1 (his bio dad isn't allowed contact) OK, I presume that your ex doesn't have PR as he isn't on the birth certificate? Even if he does have PR it would be sensible to appoint your DP as a guardian in your will. The appointment would not negate your ex's PR if he has it but in practice, if there was a dispute about where your DS1 would live, the court would have to make a decision based on DS1s welfare which would include his emotional, physical, educational and social needs. If you were to die when DS1 is 10, for example and he had no contact with his father for all of that time it's pretty much inconceivable that the court would order that he went to live with his dad.
I should really write a will, however being 22 I don't think about these things but I want to ensure that;
A - Both DS's stay together
B - They stay with DP
C - My Dsis & her DH have and maintain the regular contactact they do now (so most likely 1-2 nights a month sleeping at her house, daily updates and facetiming every other day)
D - My DM, DBro & DS's 'dad' are not to have any contact with them.
Understood. By appointing your DP as a guardian of DS1, this would be a clear message in any future court proceedings that your view is that your DS1 would be better off staying with his stepdad and half sibling. I suggest that you mention contact with extended family in the will (I normally say "I wish the guardian to encourage and facilitate as much direct and indirect contact with xyz as can reasonably be arranged". Don't be so prescriptive about updates and facetiming though. The reasons for your not wanting DS1 to live with his dad should be written in a separate letter and updated regularly. The guardian can then, if necessary, produce that letter. You shouldn't put anything controversial in the will itself, it will one day be a public document
Can I write my own will to state this? Or do you have to pay for a will to be written up, I've seen them in ASDA/Post Office ect.
Well as I will writer I would obviously tell you to get it done properly! When I speak to clients I get a full indepth understanding of all of their circumstances and tailor make their wills to suit them individually. No off the shelf will is going to do that.
I would Also like my DP to have PR over my DS1 how can I ensure this happens? We're not married but he's been a massive part in my DS's life
You should marry him. You can then (if your ex doesn't have PR) make a PR agreement very quickly and easily. If your ex does have PR he'd have to consent.
Hope that helps!