contested hearing statement

[pragoonanan]

Dear All
I have a contested hearing on 23 March 2015 and I have to prepare a statement. I need some advice as the dad is being a bully and so is his Families Need Fathers McKenzie friend.
I didn't entertain his request for access because he basically disrespected me in every way.

• He didnt pay a penny for the kids for 15 months
• He went to reside abroad (8hrs flight away)
• Not a single member of his family in the UK made contact (email, phone or in person) to check on me or the kids
• He started paying maintenance the month that he filed an application for contact to prove he is a responsible father
• He has evaded the CSA by moving abroad so he pays 150 per month per child when he is getting 10K a month through a business deal (which existed when we were married)
• My DS last saw him when he was 18 months old and my DD was 4 years old.

Matters went to Court and I allowed 2 hours a week face to face contact with him and the kids in a public place Dec 2014. This was following 15 months of not seeing them. CAFCASS recommended that this was the best start.
He then disappeared abroad again and will now only return for the hearing in March 2015.
The Magistrates are not understanding my point of view that my kids need routine and stability - they are only 3.5 and 5,5 now. He cannot just come in and out of their lives.
He has no valid reason to be abroad, even his family wonder what he is doing there. He is moving like a Nomad from one city to another abroad. He is a worthless person with no job, ambition, integrity...etc
As far as I am concerned he has abandoned his kids for a fun, easy life abroad.
How can he just come and pick them up when it suits him and I am doing the hard work and grind daily. I am their mum, friend, breadwinner...everything. I do not mind this but these sporadic appearances from him is ridiculous..
I can go on and on and on...Basically he wants kids overnight this Easter. My kids are still babies, they only know me and our home.
What do I do?
Any help please?
xxxx

Most of the things you list are irrelevant. The courts will not be interested in whether or not he paid maintenance, nor will they care about whether or not he has treated you badly. He may be worthless but that is also not relevant. The only question for the courts to consider will be your children's best interests. It is generally considered to be in their best interests to have a relationship with both parents. You need to avoid bringing up matters that are irrelevant and concentrate on the question of what is best for your children. You may have to accept that he gets contact of some kind despite your objections.

As said above, much of what you have listed will not matter to a court. They will look at how a pattern of contact can be established (for example my friends 2 girls have been flying to America from.the UK every Christmas, Easter and Summer since they were around the same age as your children, once school age the times became set to the school holidays - this is seen as a routine wifhin their circumstances)
Its very unlikely that he will be given no contact, try to be prepared to work out some kind of schedule based on where he lives now and how often he is going to be in this country - routine doesn't have to be the standard, but should be regular (even if x amount of nights every x amount of months) then look at the long term with how this will become them visiting him.

As pp have said, the magistrates are only interested in what is best for the dcs. As are you. However, as the rp, it can often feel like everyone is against you and they don't understand.
In your position, I would concentrate on the issue of stability for the dcs. I would admit that they are entitled to a relationship with their father and that you are willing to help this happen. I would also say that given the lack of regular contact recently and for the previous 15 months, overnight might be too much at Easter. Offer mediation. (They will encourage this anyway) and ask about a separated parents's programme, as this may help you both underst a bit more what it looks like for the dcs point of view.

It would help if you understood the starting point for the courts is that children benefit from a relationship with both parents unless there is significant risk of harm to the children ( and / or yourself )

I'm sorry but you come over as making very harsh and subjective value judgements on your ex's lifestyle which apart from anything else would be very hard to substantiate in court or have any direct relevance to the issue of contact. Perhaps thats why the Magistrates do not appear to understand your point of view. In fact if you are saying things in court such as ;

"He has no valid reason to be abroad, even his family wonder what he is doing there. He is moving like a Nomad from one city to another abroad. He is a worthless person with no job, ambition, integrity...As far as I am concerned he has abandoned his kids for a fun, easy life abroad " The Magistrates are probably viewing you as a parent restricting your ex's access to the children because of a personal grudge rather than any valid concerns over welfare.

As above, I'd consider mediation as a first step.