15yo's dad wants to move her school midway through year 10. she doesn't want to move. what can she do?

[sixandtwothrees]

This is not my dd, it's her lovely friend.

Mum died when she was very little. Dad has given appalling care of her since. This would be her second school move since being in secondary - the only logic of it is that the school he wants to move her to is nearer her house. But she's just settled, she's got friends and is just about getting a grip on her life... And is in the middle of GCSEs. It's just so sad. She pings off the rails now and again but is really a lovely and very capable kid. She desperately doesn't want to move. She has an older brother or an aunt she could possibly stay with and is considering moving out.

She's asked us to find out what she can do to stop this. So we are wondering, if she moves out and moves in with a relative, and he puts in an application to another school, does she have to move? Does she have to move even if she still lives with him? She was even wondering if and how she could get someone else to be her guardian or have some kind of legal responsibility for her in order to stop it, and if her dad would need to give permission for that.

Trying to encourage her to speak to someone at the school but she thinks all the teachers hate her :-(

Any suggestions?

What are his reasons for moving her?

It depends what the 'appalling care' looks like really.

As far as I know his reasons for moving her are about distance, and a bit about punishing her for getting into trouble or not doing what she's told. Also she recently got in touch with her mums family through realising one of her classmates was her cousin. She celebrated Christmas with them for the first time this year (hadn't ever done Xmas before due to his religion). So I wonder (she hasn't said this I'm speculating) if it's about putting a stop to that connection too.

The issue with his care is that he's very neglectful. He's hardly ever there. She shops and cooks for herself, washes her own clothes, cleans the house etc and basically just looks after herself. She often stays with other people and then goes back home to get clothes, money for bus pass, and eat etc. He's remarried four times and currently is married to someone she's never even met. It's all very weird.

When she was little - like five or six, he used to go away for a week to work and leave her older brothers of 11 and 13 to look after her, telling them not to go out of the house. They don't speak to him at all now.

She says she's been offered the place. What she wants to know is if there is any way she can say no, is her position stronger if she doesn't live with him or is there anyone else who might have a position to stop it.

I think you should let the school know.

I think she needs to go to social services with an adult she trusts and see what help they can provide. She should be old enough to have her feelings taken into account

I think she's old enough to have her feelings taken into consideration. Is there any way she could ask her father to remain in the school, explaining that there's local accommodation for her.

If the dad is worried about her getting into trouble at school, that sets a slightly different slant.

can you offer to take her in/foster her

I've found it - the coram one - thanks. And have passed it on to her, and if she needs help contacting them I can do that too.

First things first then I think I'll make myself firmly available to go and talk to the school with her and go from there.

It is difficult re timescales. Thanks all.