Lasting Powers of Attorney and argumentative siblings

[saffronhill]

My mother, 86, wants to register lasting powers of attorney. Her only relatives are myself and my two siblings, and we typically disagree a lot. We also don't really trust each other either over money or welfare. I worry that if the most obvious, responsible one (me) is given it, the others will be resentful; but I'm also not sure how it would work if we shared it between three (jointly not severally) and couldn't agree. Has anyone been in this position, or have any suggestions? She doesn't want to use a solicitor or professional.

Have you discussed this with your mother? She must know you all disagree.

We had a similar situation : my grandmother appointed all 3 jointly and severally (meaning any 1 can decide). My mum worries about potential disputes but in order to have a joint n several attorney appointed, they all have to agree - which would point towards them agreeing to act on that basis. It's for your mum to decide if it's to be j and several. Apparently joint ones are extremely rare - as they just don't work in practice. The form is really complicated abd easy to get wrong/be rejected so I would use a solicitor. It cost us a fixed fee of 500 for 1 or 700 for the health and money one. Good luck. If u r worried about disputes then best see a solicitor for your sake too as it means it's all above board.

Do NOT agree jointly (jointly and severally fine). I have seen a family member stranded without appropriate care because one attorney refused to admit she had dementia and claimed all she needed was some love

Thank you, those are all very helpful. I can see now that joint only would be disastrous! Penguins, what a bad situation that sounds. Obviously it is my mother's choice entirely, but she is very shaky on legal and financial affairs and I've been her port of call on them for a long time. I think if she still wants to leave me as the sole attorney I'll leave it at that unless there's any big reason why not.

My mum has just made me her LPA for both financial and welfare decisions.
The form is quite complex and does recommend that you don't have too many attorneys.
I have promised my mum I will consult my siblings on any decisions.

My bil along with my fil have joint power of attorney for mil. Dh was a little upset that he was not consulted or asked but bil lives 10 mins away from his parents where as we are over 3 hours away, that and the fact that bil would always consult us anyway over anything important, he's very sensible with money and we also have him as an executor for our wills.