divorce -50% owner of company and employed too - need help

[greenberet]

anyone able to give me some advice on this - divorcing DH due to adultery - I am 50% shareholder & company secretary on paper only. OW is also employed in company but just coming up to 1 year. DH is being increasingly controlling and refusing to provide info unless through solicitor which is costing me a fortune - having to use kids savings. He is paying me a paltry salary & some extra money but no where near the 50% dividends he is declaring. This is all going into his personal account. I have a tax bill to pay in January which he has always sorted but now is saying he will have to get a loan as he has spent all savings and says the company is not doing well. I believe this is all lies. He is being nasty - threatened to call the police when i turned up at office to request my payslip and dividend slips. I am being backed into a corner -i feel he is out to destroy me emotionally & financially as once I have used the kids savings I will be limited to what I can do. He has already had his solicitor write to mine saying I have verbally abused & physically assaulted him - he emailed telling me he would set up a new company that I would be no part of if I didnt sign some paperwork. Mediation has been postponed as was getting nowhere- we were already having part shuttle due to me feeling I am being emotionally abused. He is gradually blocking all routes of communication as is trying to make me out as being unreasonable. He wont communicate on anything other than to do with seeing the kids. I need to know if there is anything I can do about the dividends that have not actually been paid to me - I don't know whether to speak to the tax office or if this will make it worse - I also don't know whether I can do anything about being employed by him. This is a person who is highly respected in his industry - he has refused to talk to me throughout this - the kids are being destroyed and he thinks his behaviour is perfectly justified.

Any advice greatly appreciated.

I would try wikivorce.com for helpful advice and support in dealing with your ex. I went through similar - although wasn't a shareholder in our so-called 'family' business so I wasn't due any money. I would be wary of contacting the HMRC because if there is any wrong-doing going on, you will be equally liable if you're also a director. When is his next set of accounts due? Is the company limited? It may be worth a discussion with your accountant - assuming you feel you can trust the accountant to be neutral - because he/she will understand the potential impact of messing about with the HMRC and fiddling his accounts.

I suspect your best bet will be to push the divorce through as quickly as you can. This will mean keeping on top of your solicitor and using the courts to sort the finances - if he won't mediate, that's not your problem - just keep pushing it forward.

For what it's worth, I was also accused of domestic violence and even rape - none of it even remotely true. The police and the court system have seen it all before - it's not uncommon and is the result of an inability to face up to the mess they have caused with their affairs. Men who are self employed seem to develop a very deep....nastiness when it comes to sorting out the mess and are often fuelled by women who have been fed a whole host of lies. Pity her, she has no idea.

I hope all works out and PM me if I can be of any help at all. xxxx

You are a shareholder and I guess have been employed in the company more than two years. You need a solicitor who is experience in divorce involving company ownership.

As a director you have a right to information about the company.
Do you know roughly what dividends he has taken out this year as you should have the same amount as you earn 50% of the shares. I expect you have no shareholder agreement between you but if so read it carefully. Check you have your share certificates.

Are you a PAYE employee of the company or just a self employed director?

Thanks all for your replies

I am not actually a director - just 50% owner and employed as company secretary PAYE - my solicitor is doing a good job -I am just mindful that I am slowly running out of money and really wanting to get as much knowledge as I can. I have had nothing actually to do with the business and have tried the accountant who will not talk to me.

I may pm you fedupbutfine - thank you

anyone able to update me further please

been suggested i apply for tax credits - when I asked DH if i had a contract of employment & what hours he puts me down as working he replied nothing "its a tax dodge!" but i get payslips.
Also found out today he has told company accountants to send me my tax return direct and they are going to charge me £100 for completion of this which he would normally deal with and fee would be out of company. They have suggested I speak to Inland Revenue and tell them I cannot pay it - will be in region of £9000

Surely there must be something "illegal" about declaring dividends in my name and not paying them to me but expecting me to pay tax on them. Also he has recently sold some shares to one of his employees and I have yet to see the Share purchase agreement.
So far this month he has paid me my salary which will not cover the bills i am responsible for and will not answer any emails about dividend payments.

To make matters worse I have just been diagnosed with breast cancer which he is aware of but seems to make not a jot of difference in his behaviour towards me. I am already on anti depressants and sleeping tablets due to the stress of it all.

I have tried to be reasonable all the way though this but I cant believe he is actually Human! -