Ex selling the house - I'll be homeless... any advice / help?

[JohnLewisAdMadeMeCry]

My ex and I own a property together. He has wanted to sell it for ages as he wants to buy a flat with his new girlfriend and can't whilst he is on the mortgage but I have refused, I want to live here and pay all the bills and mortgage. I can't afford to buy him out.

He managed to get a Court Order for the property to be placed on the open market and sold. I will get 50% of the equity (not a lot, only about 5k).

I have been ridiculously stupid and ignored it for 3 months. Please don't judge, I know I've done the worst thing possible by not dealing with it all immediately. I have not complied with the court order and have refused to sign the paperwork for it to be marketed by the estate agent as i have nowhere else to live.

I have now received a letter from the court with a date for another court hearing - he has made another application to court because of me not complying with the order.

Is there anything I can do to stop it being sold? The Court office told me I have missed my chance to appeal the order as it's been 3.5 months now. Are there any other ways to appeal at a later stage?

What will happen at court next month? The original order stated if I did not comply I will be held in contempt - what exactly does that mean for me? What powers do the Court have - are they able to evict me even though I own the property? If not then what can they do to force me to agree to the sale/ move out?

I will have nowhere to live. I can't buy him out or get another mortgage alone. The mortgage here is interest only and for this 2 bed house it is around half the cost of renting a 2 bed flat and more than even a 1 bed flat. I simply can't afford to rent. Will that matter or now the order to sell the house is made is that it?

Please advise if you can...

Oh yes, I totally understand his position, Id likely do the same as him if the situation were reversed. Still very hard to deal with though. I love his house, so does my son. I pay all the mortgage and bills and have kept it in good repair. I understand he needs off the mortgage and if I could if buy him out or have someone come on the mortgage with me. I know it's not my sons main home and if it was if have a chance to keep it- perhaps that's why my ex recently refused to agree to my son spending more time with me. But that's a whole different matter.

The thing about council housing is that, depending on the council, they may house you in an area quite far from where you are now until a 1-bed flat comes up. In a hostel. Which is shared.

You need to get a flat/houseshare for now whilst you have a few weeks on your hands.

Stop messing with this, you could well end up in jail/with a criminal record which will make finding work all that much harder.

CAB have said that once I am in a flat share though I will not be helped by the council as I will be adequate housed.

Well it's not the end of the world to support yourself and pay your own rent however hard it may seem at the start. Longer term that tends to be what helps most women and men. Good luck with it all.

Could you actually afford to pay a mortgage if you could get one. If you can't then I don't think you can expect to stay in the house if you can't actually afford to pay the mortgage yourself. But on the other hand you don't want to get yourself in a total financial mess and end up trying to pay a mortgage you can't afford.

It's all very well wanting to stay in the house and I certainly don't blame you for that. But somebody has got to pay for it.

Why doesn't your son live with you?

I don't mean to be blunt it's just that I'm wondering why you've remained in the house and your ex has primary care (and has refused to allow you more?).

It's not the norm so I wondered if it's relevant.

There's no sinister reason he isn't with me for the majority of time. My son originally lived with me here when we first separated and then I was made redundant. I had to get another job quickly (to pay the mortgage) and with the job market being as it is I couldn't be picky so took a job working nights on weekdays. So we changed it so he lived with his dad for week days, we share weekends. I will also have him more in the holidays and will use annual leave. I do pay his dad some maintenance of course. I've managed to now change hours so I work the weekends he is with his dad and therefore am able to have him two more nights a week during the week but his dad said no. He prefers having majority care/ residency.

Vivienne - I pay all the mortgage myself here, if that's what you mean.

I feel like I've lost my son (to a certain extent) and now the house

In some parts of the country councils are having to rehouse people many miles away in other areas, 50 or 100 miles away, even in mine which doesn't tend to need to rely on hostels and b&b's as a temporary measure you could end up rehoused 15 miles away. If you need to stay in the immediate area you will have to find something for yourself but yes you are right once you do you won't be classed as insufficiently housed so the council won't help.

I'll bet he prefers having him. It's a good way of getting the house sold out from under you.

Have you actually spoken to a mortgage advisor?

Hi. Yes have spoken to mortgage advisor. It was a non starter really as outstanding mortgage is more than 10x my salary and I have nobody to help me out.

I guess I have to accept I've lost the house. Not sure if I should wait here for eviction so as to receive help from the local council or leave and only be able to afford a bedsit or a room in a shared house (just!). Our local council don't use temporary accommodation and don't provide homes outside of the borough (low demand for social housing here apparently, perhaps due to it being a fairly affluent area and in the sticks) so although id not be able to have much choice at least I would know I would be fairly localish and would at least have affordable rent and a stable home for my son.

I think you need to get your son back living with you. Is the residency court ordered? It sounds to me like your ex has far too much power in this whole situation.

Having said that, if the mortgage is ten times your salary then you need to move.

I don't know anything about the legalities of it but I know if you were a tenant you'd be advised to stay put.

As you own it and it's all through a court order, I think you risk prosecution and fines by being obstructive so better to cut your losses and maximise your equity.

The trouble is, John, that in many councils 1-bed flats are in short supply, and, as pointed out, many councils put homeless single people with no dependents into hostels or B&Bs many miles from the area.

Then, you may find what is offered to be in a very rough area.

Right now, you have some control and choice in this and can get busy finding a bedsit or flat/houseshare in the area you wish to remain in.

Councils are not going to give you a lot of choice in this.

X-post. If you wait until you are evicted by bailiffs you may well be looking at prosecution from the court in addition to the fees from the bailiffs.

Cut your losses and get a bedsit or houseshare and perhaps seek to get FT hours at work so you can afford to rent a larger place.

you need to really be sure that you going to get a nice one bed flat from council before you go down that route...you might not. look at the council housing vacant property lists if there are any.... how many people are bidding for them? better you get the deposit together and choose your own rental. then you have some control.

the son residing with dad is not an issue; why should it be?

as was said if you choose eviction route it wont be pleasant and you might face costs.

I'm at a loss to understand how you pay all the mortgage if it's ten times your salary. I'd go again to a different broker and try and get a mortgage. Seems a shame if you can afford the repayments you still have to leave the house. Could you not come to an agreement with your ex whereby his name is off the mortgage and you agree to pay him the £5,000 in instalments or at a later date.

Would having a lodger help with the mortgage?

Would the ex agree to keep his deposit in but in your child's name? I assume he needs to get off the mortgage but doesn't necessarily need his money out though

Sorry to sound really harsh but I don't get why you're being so reluctant to move.
Your ex has your DS so by selling the house that will allow your ex to give him more secure home? I assume they're in rented at the moment?
You'll get 5k from the sale of the house, that's enough for a deposit for a rented place for yourself and if the mortgage is so 10x your annual income then surely you must be able to find yourself somewhere that will be cheaper than the current mortgage? I don't see why you think you'll be homeless if you've getting some money from the sale?

Tbh I don't think you've got much of a chance with the courts if your ex has custody of your DS, the court will put their needs before yours and you'll get evicted.

Would it not be an option for you and your ex to swap homes? So he buys you out and lives there and you move in to where ever he is living? It would save the hassle of selling the house or having to go through courts.

Unfortunately John isn't repaying the mortgage. She is paying only the interest on the mortgage, which explains how she is managing to fund one that is 10x salary.

The risk of not complying, waiting for eviction etc. is that your ex will be incurring legal costs taking enforcement action against you which will probably be deducted from your share of the equity when the house is sold. You may fare better is you sit down with your ex and agree the way forward vis a vis the sale.

I am not an expert, but I would have thought that a Court ordered sale of your house amounts to an eviction in the same way that a possession order would suffice if you were a tenant. It should not be necessary for a bailiff to have to drag you out of the house to make it an eviction.

I am sorry that you are going through this and hope that your luck changes soon.

OldBitch:
I think you need to get your son back living with you

Why?

There's no reason my son shouldn't live with his dad. He's well loved and looked after there. It was a practical decision at the time and if I hadn't have agreed to him living there most the time Id not have even able to get a new job quickly to pay the mortgage and would have lost this house ages ago.

Yes, it's interest only at the moment. Hence why the payments each month are so much less than local market rent.

Yes, good point above - if you have disobeyed court orders and your ex has had to go back to court and pay court fees etc then those are fees you will have to pay out of your £5k of the equity so you might well find that by not complying with the court order there is nothing left of your share.
I would concentrate on finding a room in a shared house near your son and work for now and then as you get higher paid jobs you can work your way up to affording a one bed rental or even eventually buying somewhere.

I have already been ordered to pay his legal fees. The order for that states I must pay within 14 days, which I simply cannot do- it's more than a whole months salary they want all in one go. So I've not complied with that order either I've tried offering a monthly payment plan but the Court wouldn't consider it. It's all such a mess.