Reducing contact on a court order?

[ROZ12]

Hi all,

My DD started high school and is having issues with visiting her father. Its quite a demanding school and she is coping well but finds going to her dads tiring on a Thursday evening as she comes back at 7.15PM and she only manges to complete one subject of homework. By the time she comes back to mine and does her homework, bath and pack for next day, bedtime seems to be towards the 10pm mark, which is far too late. Her father doesn't seem to see the issue? Also previously her father used to take her to school Mondays but now he drops her off at mine so I take her to school, as he says it's too far for him which is complete lie.It alls tems from fact he never agreed to her high school choice. I've asked him to drop her back Sunday nights so she can get a good night's rest at mine, also can get an extra half hour sleep Monday mornings!! There is also the issue she doesn't get enough sleep at her dads as he has to share a single bed with her half sister. Dad doesn't want to hear about any of this and doesn't want nights reduced as CS will go up. Dad is self employed is working even Saturdays but not declaring income-that's whole another story.

Can I go to court to reduce contact, my daughter will speak for herself-is it worth it. I'm fed up of the tears that I keep facing, even in holidays like today DD did not want to go to her fathers. She hate sharing bed with half sister, the tiredness and inequality as dad pays for half sibling school fees and not hers. She also mentioned she hates that Im missing form that house and her half siblings and cousins have there mum and dad together.

She won't mention these issues to father as she is too scared and wants me too. But everytime I say something she gets in trouble for talking about them to me. what should I do-court??? But will Judge reduce exiisitng contact order as it was technically set up for primary school years and when my DD didnt know any better??? Shouldnt there be a review when highs school starts?

Advice needed.

Thanks

If there is an existing contact order, then to apply for a variation you are required to attend mediation with your dd's father first (look at form C100 for information) Only if mediation fails can it be returned to court (mediator has to sign to say mediation has been attempted and failed) This has only come about fairly recently (used to be you submitted form C100 to a court straight away to apply for any variation)

Ok it will definitely fail as he doesn't budge. How annoying!

But does my case seem feasible?

Roz did you not go to court recently and the contact was set then with relation to this new school?

Yes I did it was application by ex for overnights which failed.

My DD didnt mention that she hates contact as she just started high school.

Though I understand your concerns, there isn't anything in your post that gives you a feasible case.
Perhaps there is a way of providing a fold up bed for your dd to sleep on, or even an air bed type thing (my ds does this as there is no 'permanent' bed for him at his dad's house)

Not having her own bed must surely be a deal breaker. Are the courts happy with that?

I think what you are proposing is very very reasonable. (I do have a bias though as I have a situation that has a few similarities to yours). When I went to see my lawyer about my situation, she suggested that we could approach my ex to vary the contact arrangements outside court and I could state that I'm willing to forego any extra child support if I have her extra nights. Don't know if that might be an option for you or not, I think we are in different countries so slightly different legal systems.

Your proposals are reasonable, but the bottom line is that the court would not see the reasons as substantial enough to require the order to be changed and you are required to try mediation first.
With regard to beds and sleeping arrangements, it doesn't have to be a permanent bed, children staying over with a non resident parent are expected to have appropriate sleeping arrangements, which can be inflatable mattresses, sofa bed, fold down bed, whatever, as often the nrp doesn't have room for a permanent arrangement.
Put in writing to your ex that the sleeping arrangements need reviewing as soon as possible.