84 yr old mum has just been told of the, many benefits she should be on. backdate claim?

[minxthemanx]

I'm very cross. My mum is 84, lives alone in.her house, mentally v v sharp but physically struggles; 2 artificial knees, one hip, heart condition, high blood pressure etc etc. At the Dr surgery recently she saw a notice about citizens advice giving sessions re finances; she went last week. Her only income us, state

Who are you cross with?

Sorry, phone, state pension and she, struggles to cover bills with that. She had a, small legacy several years ago, which she has virtually used up in living expenses. Citizens advice lady, was, shocked and, said but surely you get attendance allowance (can't, manage house and garden due to disability so pays, gardener and, cleaner once a, fortnight). Apparently she is, eligible for, large, community charge deduction too, plus probably income support, which would then help, with many other, areas. I'm furious that she has, never been informed of this! She's 84! Very intelligent woman who spends half, her time, at hospital/Dr appointments (and usually pays heavily for taxis). Why has nobody, at, any point made her aware of, what she is entitled to? The claims, have now been put in by CAB lady, but apparently they will only backdate 3 months. Does, my mum have a case, for pushing further backdating?

She also had breast cancer twice last year. Many more hospital/clinic visits, car parking costs or taxis.

Doubtful... its not the job really of anybody to tell anybody about money they could be claiming. For eg why didn't you look into it for her?

I'm not sure it would be IS but probably Pension Credit, Council tax benefit(presumably she claims as a single person) etc . Sadly I doubt ignorance would be sufficient grounds to appeal to backdate further. Did she see Macmillan when she was undergoing treatment , as they also offer financial advice. Was she offered hospital transport or "season ticket" for the carpark (still not free though even for ongoing patient care )?

We did ask a couple of years ago about income support, were told she wouldn't qualify as had more than 5000 ( I think it was ) savings. That's pretty much gone. Had no idea about attendance allowance etc.

Age Concern are very good at helping older people with this kind of thing too. It is frustrating that there will be things she hasn't claimed for.

IME with both my parents, there are organisations out there that do actively provide such information. And by using Mumsnet, you know how to access the Internet. It doesn't take much to do a search.

So yes, encourage your mum to back claim where she can. But it is no one's fault that she had not accessed such advice. It might be a good time for you to do a bit more research on behalf of your mum. Or consider getting her online herself if she is not already.

Not sure of gardening and cleaning itself would be sufficient for AA. Does she need help at home for hygiene, get her up , cook, administer medication etc . Useful info and advice here.

Yes she was under Macmillan nurses, but at no.point has been given any advice about help with costs. She lives in Brighton where parking/taxis charges are astronomical. I'm just amazed that with the number of medical appointments etc she's had over the last 10 years, nobody has mentioned attendance allowance etc. when we were told 'no' for income support, it would have been helpful to be informed about other options. My brother and I both help out as much as we can, but live v away

I doubt they will back date any further, unfortunately. Agree with LIZS though that needing help gardening and cleaning will not usually qualify someone for AA. Needing help with personal care (washing self, dressing, keeping self safe and meal preparation) is the criteria.

Backdating 3 months is standard but more than that you need to prove a case for it and it would pretty much have to be that she had been misinformed of her rights to claim eg asked someone she could reasonably expect to know and been told 'you aren't entitled' and acted on that. So as she didn't ask she wasn't misinformed. It is criminal in my opinion that the elderly have to ask and no one has a duty to tell them of their rights to benefits but that's the legislation we have in place. So she doesn't have a case. Unless she involves her MP who might be able to swing it...

And also AA only given if long term needs, wouldn't be given in the event of more short term illness/need for care.

Income Support is only available to people under state pension age, so ignore CAB on that front. I would contact the Pension Service and ask for a Visiting Officer to be sent out to assist with applying for AA / Pension Credit etc.

And I'd take what CAB say with a pinch of salt - they're often very good at fuelling myths and misadvising people.

Unfortunately the onus is on individuals (or their family) to check eligibility (which is not always easy) and to keep checking as situations change. My sister keeps on top of what our parents can claim.

Its no ones "job" to make sure she gets what shes entitled to although there are organisations that will help if you approach them.

Frankly I'm amazed that you haven't been making the calls for her to find out what help she can get other than two years ago to enquire about income support.

I am in exactly the same boat. My mum is the same age as yours. Numerous serious health issues. Its YOURS and your brothers responsibility to make the enquiries on her behalf rather than be outraged because no one else thought to help. However I'm a bit of a Rottweiler and made sure she had all shes entitled to years ago. I made the calls because no one volunteered any information.

I take care of my mum. But it was a struggle convincing her she needed help. This included relocating her from 3 hours away where she was in a big house alone to a 5 minute walk away from us in a retirement home. Her housing benefit pays for it.

Its been life changing for us all. It took a lot of the guilt and stress away. Plus she is so much happier and feels safer knowing we are closer and part of family life again. My teenage DDs are constantly in and out of her house and shes called Nani by their friends and adored by them all. My oldest prefers staying at Nanis as shes a better cook and gets spoilt rotten!

I appreciate its may not be possible for you to make such a commitment but if at all possible please consider having her closer to you or your brother.

Maybe she wouldn't want to move? There's no way my mother will ever (she says) move down to me (300 miles) because she doesn't want to leave all her friends and social life.

You can't uproot someone just because they're old.

Just a small point.

I understand your upset, my DF had bowel and liver cancer and lost his job because of it but because he was 65 he was told couldn't claim unemployment benefit and so assumed that was that (he has always worked so never needed to claim anything before and was not used to the system).

No-one told him about any benefits he could claim until my MIL told me about attendance allowance (she worked in a dr surgery) yet not one person he saw during his treatment mentioned it. Surely there is some standard form that can be given out in the same way as you used to get it for CB when you have a baby? The money he received was particularly helpful in terms of heating (even in the boiling hot weather he would be dressed in winter clothes with a blanket and a hot drink but still shivering) and transport to clinics etc.

The Royal Sussex Hospital in Brighton provides free parking to cancer patients (but not disabled).

Agreed no you cant uproot someone just because they are old. I think i did say its not right for everyone but you obviously missed that part.

My old ma had lived in her house for over 40 years. Widowed a few years ago and alone. However at 84 her health was becoming an issue. She had more and more hospital admissions. And it was incredibly stressful having to juggle a family of my own and provide support for her. She never said but i could see she was utterly lonely and terrified of being a burden and 'put away'.

There was no way on earth she would ever have moved. Had it not been for a horrific burglary last year. Im not ashamed to say i used that to convince her. Her entire family was worried about her being so frail and alone after that. I take her to visit her old friends every couple of weeks. She has lots of her friends and family visiting her too. There is absence of fear and worry in her now. She sleeps at night. She is happier and giggles again.

Unless its happened to you you will not understand how heartbreaking it is to see a previously confident secure elderly parent reduced to terror at being alone at night and trying to hide it from you because they don't want to be a burden. The alarms and panic buttons are not enough.

The issue for me is why the OP hasn't been making enquiries for her mum.

Bloody parents, eh? Getting old and needy.

OP, you sound a bit petulant about this. There is no 'THEY' who will sort this for you. If you want to help your mother, get to work on her behalf. If you're not bothered (and god knows many perhaps most grown up DC aren't), then just let her get on with it and put your anger and guilt to one side.

And if anyone is thinking of having DC as some kind of insurance scheme so that you get looked after in your old age - don't even think about it.

Interesting posts, thank you. I'll address some of the points:

1. breast cancer care is not at the Sussex County Hospital but quite a way away at Princess Royal, Haywards Heath. Hence nothing re free parking.
2. Overthemill, that is exactly the point I am making. I am not shirking responsibility for my Mum, I am just shocked that ALL elderly people aren't made aware of benefits they should receive. It should NOT be the case that they have to find out and ask about them. She, like all your parents, has worked hard her entire life, and only stopped working when she was 80. (This was another reason we were told she wouldn't qualify for anything - even though she was only doing a couple of hours a week by then.) She is still a school governor, and gives a lot of her time to the community.
3. Masai - regarding your point about it being up to my brother and I, be assured we are not idle offspring. My Mum is incredibly independent (hence still living in her home, trying to do pretty much everything by herself) and does not like us interfering. We have tried to do all sorts of things - put a new kitchen in for her to make life easier than the antiquated things she's using! - etc, but she won't let us. Maybe her lack of dependence is part of the problem - she doesn't come across as a helpless old lady. And no way would she move closer to either of us - we've asked!!
4. Thank you for the comments about how reliable CAB is, I will keep an eye on that.

Can I just say that I posted this, asking whether it was possible to have these benefits to which she's been entitled for a while, backdated. What I love about Mumsnet is the practical advice people give, and good ideas. What I hate about it is that someone always comes along to make personal criticisms - such as I am " callous" and that I'm lacking somewhat as a daughter. In all the years I've used Mumsnet, I've answered people's posts with honest advice, support, suggestions - I've never felt the need to be so critical, as we don't know the full situation most of the time. Thank you for all the helpful comments - and as one person said, we get told about child benefit the minute we have a family, why does it not work at the other end of life?

Sorry, it was 'petulant' not callous, and 'not bothered.'

No they will only backdate three months. The fact that she pays a cleaner / gardener is irrelevant AA is for personal care only. Although it is up to your DM what she actually spends the money on if an award is made.