Hello, I am hoping to get some advice on how to move forward from a difficult separation from my husband. Quick background: Married 2002, lived abroad where I was main earner, paid rent, all bills etc. Have 2 children, 11 & 7. Moved back to UK in 2004 following birth of eldest. Husband became main earner. My parents gave us deposit to buy shared ownership property. Lived here since 2007. Husbands father died, became guardians for husbands 12 yr old half brother. Husband's inheritance used to pay off debts mainly run up from husbands gambling problem and build extension to give brother a room. I wanted marriage to end but I was worried how it would affect children especially brother in law who had lost both his parents (mother died at age 40 from stroke, father died from alcohol abuse). 2 years ago I found out husband had run up thousands £ in debt again, this time from payday loans. Sorted problem out twice for him, got us onto a debt management plan. Then last year, following my father's terminal brain tumour diagnosis, I found out he had taken out 2 more payday loans. I told him the marriage was over and asked him to leave the family home. He eventually moved out 4 months later. He is very bitter and spiteful. He will not accept that the marriage broke down because of his spending and dishonesty. My father passed away in July and I have just been signed of work for exhaustion, due to the stress he is putting me under and grief. He is very difficult to deal with, he works shifts and withholds his shift patterns, to make it difficult for me to plan anything in advance, he is verbally abusive to me, in front of the children. He comes to the family home and lies around on the sofa, drinking copious amounts of tea. He puts his phone on charge, uses the car without topping up the petrol. On the plus side he has kept up his maintenance payments for the children and pays half the mortgage/rent (shared ownership). I work 27.5 hours a week in education. I can't afford to move out and rent somewhere else or buy out his share in the home. I can empathise that he has moved out of the family home, away from the children but his spiteful behaviour is making me ill. I feel he had enough chances to sort out his problems and it was reasonable for me to not want to stay in the marriage when he could not be trusted. Can I stop him harassing me at home, how do I lay down ground rules so that the children can have a settled home life?