DS maintenance & Exh being a pain - need advice please

[catkin14]

Exh and I divorced earlier this year.
He is very bitter despite having a new partner/ house etc and begrudges money he has to pay for maintenance for teenage DS.
He has refused to speak to me or answer any of my emails to date even on matter concerning DS.

He is a very high earner but has now told me he has had to take a pay cut & therefore maintenance will be cut. He can provide proof he says.

He is now telling me what I must spend maintenance on and that DS must have a bigger allowance (£80 pm).
I am very angry given that he has refused to answer any of my emails etc and now he feels he can dictate what I do with the money especially given that he has no idea of what goes on in DS life etc

Can he do this? Can he tell me how maintenance must be spent?

No. He is being an arse.

He's trying to bully you. Don't give in to the arse.

Chin up and stay strong

thanks yes thats what i thought.
He is an EA, hearing from him sends me straight back to being afraid and unable to see straight!

No, he can't. Tell him to set up a monthly direct debit.

If you have a court order with a set amount and he wants to vary that then unless you agree he has to go to court and apply for a variation.

Sometimes it's easier to get payments if the payment is made direct eg to a school. Our court order says I pay all 5 children's school and university costs but that's because I earn more than their father and he has to pay nothing and I paid him on the divorce.

Presumably yours pays about 15% of net pay.

Thanks for replies.
Greengrow does that mean even if he has had a drop in pay that he has to apply for a variation?
Our divorce came through in february this year but my solicitor said the court order for child maintenance only lasted a year, after that if we did not agree on payments I would need to apply to the CSA.
He does pay around 15% of pay yes, he is a very high earner and I am not.

Parents are now encouraged to make their own family based arrangements whenever possible. The CM Options website provides information and resources to assist parents make agreements between themselves. IF you cannot negotiate between yourselves your solicitor can negotiate on your behalf.

The advantages of a family based arrangement are you avoid fees charged by the Child Maintenance Service and you can agree anything you like between yourselves to suit the needs of the children. A voluntary agreement isn't legally binding or enforceable though so you cannot claim any arrears.

Another option is to agree formally child maintenance as part of the overall divorce settlement. Normally the CMS/CSA has jurisdiction for child maintenance and the courts have no authority to impose an order of the court for child maintenance. CM can only be agreed in an order "by consent." There are limited circumstances when the courts can impose an order such as top up payments when the paying parent's income exceeds the CMS capped amount of £3k/week, for school fees and to cover special expenses such as those relating to a child's disability.

A consent order is legally binding and enforceable whilst in effect. 12 months after the date the order was made either party may apply to the CMS, then the CMS notifies the court and the consent order ceases to have any effect with regard to child maintenance.

He used not to be able to drop the sum to a lower one if that involved changing a court order. From what is said above though the rules may have changed so I am not sure.

From what is said above though the rules may have changed so I am not sure

As STIDW says, the rules are that, in most cases, the courts can only order maintenance by consent, i.e. with the agreement of both parties. Twelve months after the order was made either side can apply to the CMS and their calculation replaces the order, regardless of whether it is higher or lower. It has been that way since the CSA was set up.

So in that case it seems that unless he applies to the CMS then the court order continues and he is not allowed just to reduce it if she does not agree.

Correct.

thanks for all replies.
We are not at the end of the court order till end of January next year so I presume he will have to wait till then to contact the CMS?
He is not going to be happy!...