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Contact order help

5 replies

smiler01 · 10/09/2014 16:19

Hi
Was wondering if someone could offer there opinion or some advice please.

Heres a little back ground:
2 years ago my partner took his ex to court for contact with his 2 young children, he represented himself with me helping with statements etc. he basically asked for pretty standard contact every other weekend alternate Xmas holidays etc and as he worked nights (shift Sunday night till Friday) 2 afternoons a week he collects the children from school for couple of hours before he goes to work. His ex fought him making many allegations drugs and alcohol abuse etc so he did tests all negative and contact started straight after the first hearing it started in contact centre building up to having children overnight at ours. in the court order the weekend contact was only sat 10 am - sun 4pm but it was soon agreed between them we would have kids Friday nights too.
The last 2 years have been pretty good, No playing games by her (which happened previously) we occasionally had kids more often or longer. Things were very amicable considering she never wanted me near her kids I had the children overnight after her dad sadly passed away and my partner couldn't get the night off work so things were settled and both parties realised they had to be flexible and all was civil.

Ok so fast forward 2 years due to personal issues we have had to live separately him being back at his mums. He has still had the children as he was meant to having them weekends at his mums, unfortunately his mum said she didn't want the children there overnight at weekends as she was exhausted after working full time and they can be quite hard work and noisey etc. He explained this to his ex and she was ok with no overnights a little annoyed but ok. Then to top it all off he just lost his job!! He has got a new one now but it's working days 8-5 starting Sunday and finishing Friday (same shift as his nights but as days, it's same company different depot in different town so travelling plus staying on if jobs aren't finished) so he at the moment can't pick children up from school and on his weekends he will be working the Sunday so only has Saturdays.
He has explained this to his ex and she has kicked off I guess a few things have happened like no overnights so tipped her over the edge, she has said he's in the wrong he should of found a job to fit around the kids and the court order which is un realistic he said he's back earning so can provide for the kids again (has always paid through CSA) and if he didn't get a job but had kids he'd also be in wrong for not providing.

She has basically told him he has to have the children every Saturday on his 1 day off he has a physical job and has said he needs a day off too which as you can imagine hasn't gone down to well and has said he does it or doesn't get to see them and to take her back to court, but she does also get a break while kids are at school as she doesn't work, I can see both points of view.

Sorry it's so long but can anyone suggest where he stands or what he should do?

Thanks

OP posts:
titchy · 10/09/2014 16:30

He should have them on Saturday.

I'd like a break from my kids. However as dh and I are very much together neither of us gets a break. Sorry, contact is for the benefit of the kids, tough tit that he wants a break.

smiler01 · 10/09/2014 16:37

Thanks for your reply. I presume you mean Every Saturday? Thing is a mum of 2 I would never expect my ex husband to have our children on the one day he has off work every single week as he also has a family so considering she has every day durin school hours I thought they could try to compromise but it's her way or no way which seems wrong to me?

OP posts:
nomoretether · 10/09/2014 16:43

If it's his contact time and he can't be there, he needs to sort childcare, not push back on his ex. If he only gets one day off a week, tough, you don't get days off as a parent. If it ends up in court and he tries to argue that he should get a day off he will look stupid.

KissMyFatArse · 10/09/2014 16:46

Yeah he should see them every day off if it's only one day a week. His kids shouldn't miss out on seeing their dad just because he has a physical job!

PatriciaHolm · 10/09/2014 22:47

Given he only has saturdays available, it makes sense for him to see the children then. Most parents don't get a child free day every weekend and it's a bit feeble of him to say he needs one really. I guess he's suggesting a day a fortnight, which is pretty poor contact.

I can't see what court will achieve either, other than to worsen relations again.

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