has anyone broken a contact order?

[alkege]

I'm desperate. I've been to court 4 times over my son's contact with his father and they never look at the evidence of the emotional abuse towards myself and my son just tell us to learn to communicate and get on with it.
My 4 year old son is now telling me he is scared of his dad and that his father is poisoning him against me. I've tried so many authorities it's unreal but all they ever say is that if there's a court order in place it supercedes my boys welfare and won't get involved. I'm at the stage of breaching the order while I put an application back into court for supervised access but I'm told by everyone on authority that even though I'm worried for my son the courts will go against me for breaching. Has anyone else suffered at the hands of an ex and what happened when court order was broken? I'm looking for personal experience not what the law states. Thanks

I haven't broken a court order but I have personal experience of chatting to someone online who disappeared for two weeks because they had been sent to prison for two weeks for not complying with a contact order.

My understanding is the authorities will balance any evidence of harm children suffer as a result of the behaviour of a parent against the harm children suffer when they don't have a meaningful relationship with one of their natural parents. Unless there is impartial professional evidence that children aren't surviving satisfactorily in the care of a parent it's unlikely that withholding contact will be deemed justified.

The Royal College of Psychiatrists fact sheet lists the signs of emotional abuse. Unless professionals working with children (teachers, health workers or social services) pick up on the signs a court is going to have difficulty in choosing between two versions of the same story. The fact sheet is available here;

www.rcpsych.ac.uk/healthadvice/parentsandyouthinfo/parentscarers/childabuseandneglect.aspx

sorry to say this, but those telling you that witholding contact with the situation you have outlined are right, it would definitely go against you. Also, you are unlikely to get contact to be changed to supervised on the basis of the word of a 4 year old as they can easily get things wrong and could also be saying what they think you want to hear or something that pleases you.
If I'm reading it right you've already taken it to court 4 times? If they haven't changed their minds yet to supervised contact then unless something really drastic has actually happened (a fact not a childs conversation) to substantially put your son at risk then a 5th application will make no difference. If by the time you make that application you are 'in breach' then your ex would even possibly be given more contact and your right to make repeated applications would be removed by the court. You could also be accused of attempting to block contact and of alienating your child against the other parent.

I have personal experience of a court revoking my exes right to make repeated applications with no new evidence.
A friend found her ex was awarded far more contact not less when she breached their order (and he did some very emotionally abusive things to them) and her ex was simply asked to attend parenting classes.

I have broken a contact order but with much older children and after years of literally having children ripped out of my arms screaming because they didn't want to go.

I wrote to the father (I can't speak to him because he is so abusive) and told him that the oldest child, then 10, was simply refusing to go, I told him I was aware that the order was being broken and if he wanted to take it back to court I would ensure that she had her own solicitor appointed by me that would fight on her behalf. I took advice from a family friend, who just happens to be a judge who handles these cases in another area, before I wrote.

I did tell him that I thought it was a 'phase' and that his handling of it may make the difference between having a future relationship with his daughter or not - he made the right choice and, after several months, she began seeing him again but not aver time, she chooses when she wants to go.

The youngest girl decided she didn't want to see her father at 8, he had verbally abused my husband as he dropped her off, it later turned out that he was drinking again and the abuse gave her the excuse she had been waiting for to stop going to stay.

His contact order was different to the other child's (different dad) and was only for 1 hours weekly but had gone onto staying contact over the years on the advice of SS, as he proved himself to be ok. This meant it wasn't quite so bad, the contact order made 5 years ago was for supervised contact, so I could arrange to meet him in the park or something for an hour, if he had been difficult over it. She is nearly 10 now and has barely seen him over the last 18 months or so, she doesn't care and if he turns up she will go out for a walk with him but won't go to his house. He is supposed to ring her but mostly doesn't bother for weeks on end, I think he has his own issues going on and she is no longer a priority.

With a child of 4 I think, as heart breaking as it is for you, I don't think there is a lot you can do without evidence of some sort of abuse. I do think that bad feeling from adults can cause more upset for the children and you should ensure that you never speak ill of his dad in front of him.

I have 3 dad's to deal with, 4 children (I am the grandma with residence) it can be very tricky if the dad's are difficult, and I don't have the relationship issues that parents have in place in these situations.

Please think long and hard before you make a decision you may regret dearly.