Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Legal matters

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

Need options!

4 replies

confusedhusband · 21/08/2014 11:49

I've posted on another thread and was advised to posed a message here.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2159722-I-only-want-to-do-whats-best-for-my-family?noti=1#49017385

In short, my wife is having an affair. I have spoken to her about it and no it's as if we didn't have the conversation. She is in constant contact with him. I work abroad which is an added complication. We have three children and, if worse comes to worse, they are my priority, followed by our house and assets.

My wife works 3 days a week in a well paid job. I earn a littler over double what she does at the moment but pay almost 5 times what she does into our joint bank account. My current work contract ends at the end of next month. The mortgage is in joint names.

He has been to our house while I have been working away and spending time with my children. They are talking about setting up a home together with our children. Are there any options for keeping him away from our house?

I am looking for advice on several different options in terms of what might happen in terms of access to my three children, assets, finances, maintenance if it comes to divorce:

Option 1: Things stay as they are. I work abroad.

Option 2: I return to the UK to our home and take a low paid job (less than she is learning).

Option 3: I return to the UK to our home with no job.

Options 2 or 3 are currently my preferred options as I want to be there for my children. The only reason I am working abroad is for my family. If that is going to break down then I would rather be there for my children will little or no money!

OP posts:
Collaborate · 21/08/2014 14:27

You really need to book an appointment to see a solicitor. They'll need a lot of information from you before they can offer any advice. If you let us know roughly where you live we may be able to recommend someone for you to see.

confusedhusband · 21/08/2014 14:38

Thanks for the comment. Live in the Sunderland/Durham/Newcastle area of North East.

OP posts:
Collaborate · 21/08/2014 16:23

I would suggest Silk Family Law in Richmond and Newcastle. Big team with a good reputation.

Greengrow · 21/08/2014 20:46

How often do you get home from abroad eg how many nights a month are you home?

The bottom line is you cannot physically stop her seeing her lover in hers and your house. If she were violent against you you might be able to get a court order to exclude her from the house. If you could change to working from home or near home and were never away tha tis obviously going to help and you do do half or more of the childcare and house cleaning and perhaps move yourself to being primary carer of the children which might mean if you both divorce you get the house and children but it would take a lot of huge changes to your lives.

if you want to stay with her most flings finish and plenty of couples continue a marriage after for decades so don't discount that option. However your biggest issue is you work abroad so presumably cannot be a proper present and involved husband and father.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread