How can I get our neighbour to leave us alone?

[Azquilith]

I live with DP and small DS in a gated complex of flats with a porter. We have a parking space with the flat which we pay rent and a service charge for. However, my DPs van is not allowed to be parked in the space between 6pm and 9am as it's a commercial branded vehicle. This is in the terms of the lease and so he parks it on the road each night. Fine.
However sometimes he comes home for lunch or finishes early, and parks it in the space until 6 which he is allowed to do. For the last few weeks I have received a call from the porter each time he does this saying that there has been a complaint from the same member of the residents committee that he shouldn't be parking in the space. Each time I have explained to the various different porters that we are allowed to do so. Each time we receive feedback that he becomes quite aggressive at this. Last week he apparently told the porter to tell us that we were illegally infringing into his space (firstly we weren't, and secondly, the next space isn't even his).
Last night the main porter apparently printed off the terms of the lease and showed them to this gentleman to prove our rights. The porter then said that my DP had come to the office upset about these continual complaints. This gentleman then told the porter that he needed to raise an official complaint about my DP behaving aggressively. When the porter said that my DP had in no way been aggressive, this gentleman sent an email to the building manager complaining that the porter was protecting my aggressive DP.
I'd just like this guy to leave us alone and don't understand why a van in a parking space is quite so upsetting. What can we do?

Nothing. Do nothing.
If you're within your rights to park the van there when you do, then don't give him another thought.
If he wants his little drama, let it be a one man show.

He is harassing you.

Agree. Do absolutely nothing. The more reasonable and calm you guys are, the more the porters are involved and defend you, the more unreasonable he seems.

Thank you. It's totally bizarre behaviour, even writing it felt weird. Why would someone get so upset about a van in a space? And I know it seems like a small thing but it's like someone watching us - every time we park there I get a phone call!

I'd be parking that bloody van in the space from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. every single damn day from now on (I appreciate this is slightly impractical). I am astounded that such a clause would exist in a lease but there it is, and you have abided by it exactly.

I think the only thing you can do is ask the porter(s) not to inform you of any more nuisance complaints. I appreciate it's frustrating for him/them as well but frankly it's their job to deal with the residents and their ludicrous demands.

I don't think the porter helped by fanning the flames to say your DH had gone to the office to complain (even if he had). They presumably have some process for dealing with disputes between residents, or if they don't - they need to get one sorted out.

I think the only thing you can do is refuse to rise to it, ask the porters to keep you out of it as much as possible, and request evidence of every supposed incident. Your DH should avoid ever being alone with this man and if he ever does come across him, start filming the encounter on his mobile phone, first making sure to say loudly 'I am recording this encounter' so the man can't claim he is being filmed without consent.

Why indeed? Because he's a spiteful busybody I suppose.

Tell your dh not to approach him again - as you have seen, letting him see that he is bothering you only results in the sad case ramping it up.

Stay away from him and continue to calmly explain to the porters. If you deadwall him with civility, it'll drive him mad.

I like the idea of asking the porters to leave us out of it. And I'll ask them not to share our address. Have also told DP to steer clear. Some people are just weird. Imagine spending your time stressing about someone else's parking space?

Is the porter responsible for policing the lease? Shouldn't he ask the complainant to make his complaint to the landlord, if in his view there is no active breach? Why is he involving you at all?

Yes, his life must be quite shite.

I think it's a good idea too.

I wonder if he's trying to hound you into not using the space at all. How long ago did you move in? I wonder if he used it as an extra space beforehand or something. Have you tried parking an unbranded vehicle in there to see if he still complains?

I would just put a copy of the terms of t he lease relating to the parking issue in the window of his van and maybe something saying it will be removed at 6pm each day in accordance with this.

We moved in a couple of years ago but only got the van (through DP's work) recently. Sometimes a friend visits and parks a car which causes no complaints, it's just the van he has the issue with. I know it might sound a bit silly but I think they like 'a certain kind of person' to live on the estate. And I'm not sure that manual workers count. It irritates me because my DP fixes appliances for a living and given that's obvious from his van, is often asked by people on the estate if he can fix something for them - which he always does, and for free. I have no issue with being neighbourly!

Ooo terms of lease in window of van is a good idea.

Is the person complaining as a resident or as a member of the committee?

It may be worth looking at what the individual committee members are/aren't allowed to do. There may be something about not attempting to use their position to make individual complaints.

There may also be a clause in the lease about allowing other residents quiet enjoyment of their property, not harassing them etc.

You may not necessarily want to make a complaint but having the necessary information means that you will be prepared if you hear from the committee.

Oh I just bet that's what it is. Mr Gated Community thinks he's a cut above and is probably incensed that someone doing a manual job can afford to live in his little kingdom. Heh heh heh. I wonder if it was him who got the clause about branded vehicles written in to the lease, what a knobber.

These kind of rules are common in some gated communities I have lived in in the States. The no commercial vehicles is a snob issue; they don't want it obvious that "working" people live there.

I once lived in a community in South Florida that had a no trucks of any kind (with or without markings) could be parked overnight in your driveway rule. My son, who drives a small pick-up truck, came for the weekend, and we got a letter from the homeowners association. I looked up the exact wording of the rules and the way they had written it also covered SUVs (as most are built on truck bodies) which meant that nearly everyone was in breach of the rules. After I notified them of this, they rewrote the rules to ban only pick-up trucks and vans.

I think he's complaining as a resident. I will investigate the lease...

Tribpot my DP agrees. He also reminds me when we moved in and he was moving boxes wearing he was 'monitored' by a lady who informed him that she was a member of the residents committee and was 'keeping an eye in him' to make sure he wasn't damaging any walls. I assume she thought he was a removal man, by his work uniform and his Scouse accent. When she encountered me moving boxes in my work suit and pretentious RP she welcomed me warmly to the building...
Pisses me off because my DP is a brilliant guy and this does make him feel like he shouldn't live here.

Is your space overlooked by a property where he (or someone else) lives? The reason I ask is whether he is 'aesthetically' bothered by the van. Absolutely doesn't excuse the harassment, but could explain the bee in his bonnet!

We live in a pretty country road with just a nice verge opposite. One of our neighbours parks a range of clapped-out, enormous commercial vehicles of various kinds on the verge in front of our window. Nothing to stop him, so we don't complain, but it really does bother me, I can't lie...

To be fair, it is a bright red transit. But considering we pay 4k a year service charge in top of our mortgage for the privilege of living in the gated estate, I kind of feel I should be able to park a horse and cart there if I should so feel.

He sounds such a knob. I would be parking there as much as possible to piss him off!

Ohhh I love the idea of you parking a horse and cart. Go on, dare you.