Sibling being difficult over DCs trust fund... what to do?

[CornflakeMum]

When my Dad died last year he left half of his estate to his grandchildren (my children), and a quarter each to my sis and I. She is unmarried/has no children.
She was quite angry about it at the time, as she felt she should have been divided equally between her and me, but that's another story...

Anyway, my DCs money was left in trust with both Sis and I as trustees. I handled all the probate and estate administration as Dad had previously made me Power of Attorney in his later years, and it seemed simplest for me to carry on & handle things. Sis was an executor, but had power reserved so I could deal with everything, so she wasn't involved at all, and didn't ask/want to be.

So now the administration is over, and we need to sort out what to do with my DCs trust fund money. But sis won't engage about this at all! She has not offered any ideas, asked about it at all, and whenever I try to raise it via emails she just ignores them. The solicitor said I should ask her to step down and allow my DH to be the other trustee (he has useful legal/tax experience which would really help to manage things) but my sis has refused! She says she thinks it is her 'responsibility' to remain to check that DH & I 'don't do anything stupid with the money'.
She hasn't made any suggestions about how to invest it. She hasn't initiated any meetings/ conversations. She has only met my DCs about three times in their entire lives, and she has never shown any interest in them - doesn't even know when their birthdays are/ has never sent them a card.

I think she is being spiteful now and using this as a way to 'punish' me for her not getting what she thinks is her 'fair share' of the inheritance, but this incompletely unfair as Dad's will wasn't my choice, and I am the one who has done all the work.

Anyone know how I could force her to step down?

Oh sorry ,having a senior moment there !

She isn't acting In Best interests of kids so your solicitor must know of powers to withdraw her rights.

I hope it isn't in one bank - that much money is over the banking guarantee. OK, a bank going bust is unlikely but it HAS happened.

I think your sister has been cut enough slack. 18 months is enough time to come to terms with the initial shock of losing a relative ( which OP, you and your children have also had to do.)

She is being an arse to your children, her family, her nieces/nephews.

She needs to step up, put her feelings aside and do the right thing by her nephews. I would firstly have a last ditch attempt to get her to see this.

Failing that, I would have a conversation with her about legal fees ( which if you try to force her off her trustee duties, and she refuses, I'm guessing will cost you BOTH a large chunk out of your inheritance money) SO step down gracefully or step up to your duties.....

I would also try pointing out that the children could potentially sue her at a later point, if they feel their money wasn't looked after with their best interests at heart. Being spiteful/non-communicative and neglecting your trustee duties because you are pissed off with your share of the pot, is not going to cut it with the lawyers......

Failing any response from that, I would sigh and involve the lawyers.

Specialsubject - yes, don't worry, not more than £85k in any one institution, apart from NS&I which is fully protected.

I kind of feel for your sister as I can see why she thinks she thinks she's been treated unfairly. I probably would too if it were me. Your household has inherited 75% of your father's estate, her household has inherited 25% and she's expected to help you increase the value of your household's share.

That said, it's not your kids' fault and she should either step up and meet her responsibilities or step aside and let someone else do it.

Ah, your poor sister, I really feel for her. it must have been a shock for your family to get most of the money.
This on top of her being expected to be trustee for the money to your dcs must be too much to bare.
can you not just put it in trust funds for them until they are 18, or use them to pay for activities and hobbies throughout their early years.
Does your sister have an actual say in what happens to the money.

I too have been through trustee hell, so you have my sympathy. But it was several years ago for us, so am afraid I can't

As has been said above, she has a legal duty to invest it well, which a high street bank account would not fulfil with that amount of money. But trying to force her off could use up a lot of the inheritance.

If I were you, I would try and get a half hour free consultation with a law firm experienced in trusts. This should get you enough info on what a) your rights are and b) her duties are. You should also ask them what a good investment would look like (I suspect their answer would be not just property but spread across a range of investments, i.e. gilts, shares and so on).

Armed with this, I would write a letter/email explaining the situation and asking her either to step down or do what is suggested. And include a deadline for response. If that doesn't work, it might be worth paying the law firm to write a letter.

sorry, that first sentence was meant to end ...remember the precise details about it.

I can also understand DSis being unhappy at her 25% share of her father's estate. But it was his money, presumably earned/managed by him. So it was completely up to him where he left it.
None of us really have any rights to our parent's inheritance, they can leave it to a cat's home if they wish.
If she can't act in nephew and niece's best interests she should step aside.

Inheritance issues can really bring out the absolute worst in people .

There on the other hand, a brief Google suggests that you can remove her pretty easily if she keeps refusing to act. Perhaps set a deadline in your next letter by which, if she does not respond, she will be removed.

Can I be removed as a trustee against my will?
In some circumstances you can be removed as a trustee. These are:
• If you’re no longer deemed suitable to be a trustee.
For example, if you disregard your duties and this causes a loss to the trust.
• If you’re unable to act. For example, if you become physically or mentally incapacitated.
• If you’re unwilling to act. For example, if you refuse to carry out your duties as trustee.
• If you remain outside the UK for more than 12 months (in a Scottish trust this period is 6 months).

Hope this is sorted now. How horrible for everyone though, especially your sister. My DPiL have always told my DH and DSis that they'll get a 50/50 inheritance. Not 60/40 (because she has 3 kids and he has 1). Kids always have the opportunity to inherit from the other parent after all. My parents have never discussed anything with us, and if they did want to give us anything, who am I to dictate how much. But it would jar if my brother got more just because he had kids. My friend's granddad left his inheritance arbitrarily to 2 of his 6 grandkids, bypassing his only surviving child. It was frowned upon so badly, that the 2 shared out the gains with the other 4.

There's an old fable that springs to my mind whenever I hear of inheritance squabbles. Two brothers owned a field producing grain. One had 7 children, the other had none. The brother with children used to think "my brother has no one to look after him in his old age" and so, at night he would take extra sacks of grain to his brother's storehouse. The other brother used to think "my brother has all those children to feed, how will he manage?" and so, at night he too would take extra sacks of grain to his brother's storehouse. One night they met each other in the middle of the field and raised what they had both been doing. They hugged in love and in the place where they met a tree of blessing grew.

Zombie thread !!!