Can i be a 'Mrs' if not married?

[Bangonthedoor]

So DP and I aren't married and probably won't. Neither of us feel like we have to get married as we've already got a lovely DD and a new baby on the way. However, never say never.

I'd really like to have the same name as my children and as DP for that matter if I changed my surname would I still have to be a 'Miss'? Sorry for the daft question but it would feel like people would think we're another type of relative and wouldn't assume we're together!

Anyone know the facts? Sorry if this is in the wrong place.

Miss, mrs and ms are titles that we bestow upon ourselves, there is no legal status. Why don't you choose to be Ms Familyname?

You can be Mrs. Check the deed poll website out, I think it explains it all there.

Mrs used to mean older woman and miss younger woman.

You can use whatever you want regardless of marital status.

personally I hate mrs

Thank you both being a Ms sounds like a good idea.

You say you don't feel as if you have to get married, and of course you don't, but just make yourself very aware of your position if either or you were to die, or one to leave the other. Protect yourselves legally as far as possible.

Thanks weatherall I like the sound of Mrs but I'll feel like a bit of a cheat, Ms sounds like the better idea!

Thanks clam although I'd hate to marry just for legal reasons or just in case we die.

It may happen at some point in the future but right now neither have a big interest in it

Well, that's all very well, but those "just for legal reasons" are there to protect people.

The legal reasons are important, though.

If you don't want to marry of course you shouldn't, but you should investigate what you need to do to have the same legal protections you would have if you were.

Do people really only get married to protect themselves? It's sad to think that's the reason people get married

That's the reason I got married. It doesn't change anything else in your relationship imo.

I like to use Ms

The legal reasons are important - it will cost a lot to get the same with a solicitor and you should look into it. People haven't a clue until things go wrong and then they find out! If you don't have any legal status I would make sure that you get on really well with DP's family!

Protect themselves, protect their children. By all means use alternative legal methods but crossing fingers and hoping is not a reliable option :)

We wrote a will instead of getting married. It's expensive but worth it for the protection.

just because you get married for legal reasons doesn't make it a marriage of convenience you know!

it's crucial in your position to protect yourself. you have children.

People just have no idea! It isn't simply making a will- if you don't want to get married you really should see a solicitor for all the implications. It isn't sad- if you have children it is essential to protect them if you don't want to protect yourself.
If you don't then make sure that nothing goes wrong abroad -or that one of you isn't in a coma - or any other dire thing life might throw at you. That is when you find out that a marriage certificate isn't just a 'piece of paper'.

There is nothing sad about loving each other enough to want the best should one of you die, even if you don't want to marry. Why would you find that sad?

Seems a lot more hassle to change your name by deed poll (if that's what you do), pay solicitors fees to put in place whatever legal protection you need, draft appropriate wills etc, when you could achieve the same thing by popping down the registry office. Presumably if you have children and are looking at changing your name to his, you both intend to be together forever anyway, which is a good reason to get married if the legal stuff isn't good enough.

You don't need a wedding. Just pop down to the registry office and take a couple of witnesses-a lot cheaper than getting the same protection with a solicitor and it is still better protection.