Howto divorce DH, can I even afford it?

[Ombre]

DH and I have been together for 8 years and have 3 DC. Things haven't been good between us for a while and I really have tried, but feel I can no longer cope with his moods and his drinking.

We own an average 3 bed house and have a 150k mortgage. I'm a sahm, DH is the breadwinner.

What would happen if we divorced, would DC and I stay in the house, would we have to sell and buy somewhere cheaper? How could I pay a mortgage??

I feel really trapped........

Anyone? People get divorced all the time, how do they do it ?

Try moving this to legal. It is doable but your life style will probably change.....but hopefully your peace of mind/personal happiness will compensate - good luck with whatever you choose to do

Oh, dear!

Maybe report our post, and get MNHQ to move it to the Legal Matters section?

Good luck!

you'll have to sell up and divide the proceeds and buy two much smaller houses

& eventually you'll have to go back to work :(

Thanks everyone, phew, it's really scary.

I don't think DH earns enough to cover my mortgage (staying in house) and his own rent/mortgage

I don't really understand why one spouse should go and live in a rented flat though

the couples i know that have divorced and have sold up and split assets so that the chldren have somehwre to stay when they're staying with either parent iyswim

a weekend with dad ina one bedroom flat isn't great even if the mum is in a 3 bedroom house all week

but I'm sure someone will come a,ong and tell me I'm wrong

We couldn't afford two 3 bed houses

If you rented you could get help with housing costs. How old are your dc?

I wouldn't be able to get housing benefit as I would have too much in savings (from house sale). DC are 2, 5 & 7

We'll move this to Legal Matters now for you Ombre

It's ok I've already started another one..!

I think a decent solicitor can get it so you remain in the house until your youngest dc is 18 - they have to live somewhere and their dad has a legal responsibility to see them housed etc. As you are a sahp I think you csn claim spousal maintenance as well as child support from your h, esp if you can prove you have supported his career and he has benefited as a result of your sah.

Not necessarily the case. It depends on many factors.

If you would like to stay in the house you will have to show the court that you able to afford to do so, if not it will need to be sold.

Spousal maintenance isn't that straight forward either. It is dependent on many factors including the ability of the payer to pay. Courts don't like awarding it for long periods of time. It may be an option for a couple of years to allow 'adjustment'