Going to court for access

[CundtBake]

Hi all

I'm posting for a good friend of mine who wishes to get legal access to his daughter as her mum has a habit of reducing contact or going completely NC for periods of time. He has never been allowed to have his daughter alone or at his own house. She is almost 2. Her mother is also pregnant with their second child together.

What steps does he need to take? He has no idea how to get things started. He also has lost his job in the last few weeks and is worried about the cost.

Any advice gratefully received

Thanks

Most contact works well when the parents agree it. If at all possible he should try to reach agreement with her. If he goes to court she might deny all contact for years and as the courts do not jail those refusing contact very often he might get less contact than he is now getting.

Is there a way psychologically to make her want him to have contact - eg it will enable her to work or give her time to clean her house or because the child is throwing up and he';d be the one cleaning it up? In other words see what he can find which will make the mother think it is a huge gain if he takes on some of the domestic burdens and that might help.

Might she be going to nursery school soon? If so he should be able to get to go to sports days, see the teachers and that kind of thing.

none of this is fair. i would have liked my ex to have the children half the nights of the year (I work full time) and he chose to have them no nights a year and pays nothing. It always seems that mothers who want the other partner to have a lot more staying contact get none at all and father who would be delighted with 50/50 even if they have to pay half the cost of a full time nursery place or nanny end up with women who seem to adore 24/7 constant childcare and will not allow any contact.

Good contact for children relies on parents working together, or at least not against each other. Going to court tends to leave parents feeling resentful and resistant making working together difficult or impossible, so it's better if arrangements can be agreed rather than imposed by a court if at all possible. When parents can't agree between themselves a mediator may be able to diffuse the situation and help them to find away forward that can work for everyone. In any event there is a requirement in most cases that the applicant to court proceedings arranges a Mediation Information & Assessment Meeting to find out about mediation and if it is suitable before the case is heard.