Do I LTB? Moving abroad with child

[CantStandTheArguing]

I'm hoping someone can help me with this. Regular MMer but NC'd for this.

I'm thinking of leaving my partner for a number of reasons. We have a DD (6 months). He has parental responsibility - he's on the birth certificate. We're not married and don't own property. No debts or bank accounts in joint names. Tenancy agreement is in joint names.

If I break up with him my only option (I feel) is to move back home to my family. I come from a west EU country. DD has been registered with the embassy and has a British passport as well as a passport from that particular country.

Would it be considered child abduction if I move abroad with her without his permission?

Yes, I'm fairly sure it would.

Is he abusing you? Are you afraid for your and your DD's safety?

It absolutely would I imagine.

You need to get your legal position absolutely cast iron tight before you move children anywhere.

Yes because the child is 'settled' in the UK.

OP - get some legal advice. If you were to separate/divorce it should be relatively simple, as your finances are simple. There would have to be agreement about your DD though for custody and visitation. As she's so little you will probably get primary custody, but you won't get permission to re-settle overseas unless your husband agrees to it. Why do you feel its your only option? I fear you may find yourself stuck here while she's growing up.

Thanks for the quick replies.

I would find it very difficult to be a single parent here without family support. I do have quite a few friends but none of them have children yet. There is no support from MIL either (partner doesn't know his dad) as she lives a 4 hour drive away and doesn't have a car - or any money for that matter.

I have a good career (I earn almost double his salary) and would be able to continue this if I moved home. If I stayed I could afford to pay the nursery fees by myself as well as rent and bills, although it would be very tight. It would be a lot easier if I moved back home though, as nursery fees there are subsidized and rents are about half of what I pay here.

However the main advantage of moving home for me would be the support. I have a very large family and still quite some very close friends there.

At the moment I do the vast majority of the care by myself anyway. I'm back at work and have been for a month, DD goes to nursery full time. Not ideal but we can't afford to live on my partner's wage alone. I breastfeed and (reluctantly) co-sleep with DD, partner sleeps in spare room. I am aware this did not improve our relationship.

What could be the implications if I DID move abroad with DD?

Re being abusive - he has never laid a finger on me. I feel that he can be emotionally abusive though - he often tells me that I'm "stupid", what I say is "rubbish" etc. He very much believes he is always right - in fact friend often joke about this.

I have told him earlier today that I think it's over and can't see any improvement - cue a lot of excuses. He is now sitting watching the cricket - DD is asleep upstairs. He seems to think the argument is over and that's it.

He is VERY intelligent and VERY well spoken. He's in fact a trained barrister (although he never worked as one) so incredibly good at arguing. English is not my first language and it makes it difficult for me. As he knows a lot more about the law than I do I wanted to see what my options are.

The implications of you moving abroad without his permission is that you get arrested for child abduction and he gets custody.

If he is a trained barrister he will know all of this backwards, along with every loophole, so you need to make sure even more that what you do is totally above board and legally protected.

What could be the implications if I DID move abroad with DD?

You would be arrested for child abduction and your DD would be returned to her father in the UK.

The only way around this is to successfully get yourself and her to a country that is not a signatory to the Hague Convention, but since this is not your intention its irrelevant.

Ok thanks I will look into my - legal - options.

Just to say that I'm an immigration solicitor if you need to know anything about staying here, though if you're from an EU country and working it sounds pretty straightforward!

I believe that the Police would be very concerned if you tried to remove a DC from the UK without the father's permission.

My sister was able to move by showing she had to move for work. This was in divorce court.

They had to agree on visitation etc.

I think basically you have to get him on board op.
Whatever you do, don,t just do a runner.

I, m sorry you, re going thru this, it, s awful being cut off from your support network.

Removal of your child without permission of her father with PR would be abduction. However, it is remotely possible that he may agree that it the best way forward. Then it would not be abduction. You would need to have a grown up discussion with him. Though I expect that would be fairly fruitless.

You need to do your homework. Prepare evidence of why it would make sense for you to return home. Prepare a breakdown of costs.

You also need to think long and hard about what contact you would be prepared to offer. How would it work?

And the effect on your daughter of not only her parents separating but losing the chance to have direct contact with him for a significant amount of time.