Could I stop contact with dds dad for these reasons?

[Tiptoetiptoe]

Contact is not court ordered yet.

Yesterday dds had contact with their dad. First time in 6months. It was supposed to be in a contact centre supervised for 2hours.

Sw and I spent a few weeks working in contact in a contqct ccentre with dd1.

When I told her she was seeing dad in a few days she went hysterical.

Yesterday she qas hysterical. After 30mins she agreed to go. The contact supervisor tried to trick her saying "we going for a drive" I was uncomfortable with lying amd told the worker. I was even telling dd1 in front of the worker it will be in a contact centew.

Dd1 went happily.

A little while later I got a text stating they arrived at the park.
If I knew it was a park I would have dresses them more appropriately and put suncream and hats on dds.

When they arrived home. I asked the returning contact worker (different one) why ir was in a park and she said "I dont know why it was supposed to be in the centre" if I knew it was in a park I could have told dd1 she was seeing dad in the park and probably wouldnt have been hysterical.

When dds arrived back.

Dd2 was tired which is understandable so I put her to bed.
I looked at dd1 and she was sunburned.
When dd2 woke up I realised she had her allergy rash. Exp never took her allergies seriously enough and would do keep sayimg "little bit wont hurt her" so he would butter one sandwich then use the same knife to cut dd2 sandwich. (He provided lunch)

A littlw while later the vomiting, diarehea and screaning started.
So she waw very obviously reacting to something.

I also realised he never put her excema cream on as it would have left the greasy feeling as you need to put loads on or it doesn't work good and her excema is quite out of control.

So do I have reasons to stop contact? There was dv in relationship and he has recently applied to court for residency.

The reasons are:
Went to park instwad of contact centre which distressed Dd1. Wouldn't have minded if I knew about it first so I could have sorted more stuff for them.
Had no suncream or hats on dds.
Never put on dd2 excema cream.
Dd2 reacted to one of her allergy.

Ss want contact to go ahead every sat I have offered eow for 4 hours leading upto all day and during school holidays add an extra day. But with the problems from the first one he hasn't looked after dds properley.

I'd be very worried if he's ignoring allergies and not putting sun cream/hats on. That's dangerous and neglectful.

I'd also be worried that the social workers are so careless. WTF?

I also think violent men should not have contact - you wouldn't force a grown up to be in the company of a violent person, why force someone even more vulnerable i.e. a child or an elderly person? But I gather the courts think differently. Dimwits.

A child's right to be safe is far more important than the father's right to see his child. And the argument that 'he's only violent to the mother, not the child' is horseshit. Violence is violence - you can't trust a violent person to hold their temper with other people who are not the initial targets. Plus violence from one parent to another is child abuse IMO - it distresses children, it frightens children, it exposes them to things they should never see and it teaches girls that they are predestined to be victims and boys that they are predestined to be perpetrators.

Surely he would have assumed you'd put sun cream on them?

As I thought it was in a contact centre and was there was no garden that sun cream was not needed. Also it was cold and wet here. They had to travel a little way to get to contact.

If I knew they going to a park iwoud have added suncream to their bags.

Sw texted me to say I just needed to provide nappies, creams, medicines, inhalers ane he would provide the rest. Luckily I provided a drink for dds as he only provided a drink for dd1.

As I thought it was in a contact centre and was there was no garden that sun cream was not needed. Also it was cold and wet here. They had to travel a little way to get to contact.

If I knew they going to a park iwoud have added suncream to their bags.

Sw texted me to say I just needed to provide nappies, creams, medicines, inhalers ane he would provide the rest. Luckily I provided a drink for dds as he only provided a drink for dd1.

I don't know if you could stop him, but you could certainly raise these complaints and perhaps complain about the social worker. I'd have been annoyed that she was taken to a location different to the one you were told it would be. And the sun cream and allergies etc is even worse!

You have several different issues here.

1. Poor communication between you and professionals which led to confusions and ultimately to sunburn of dd.

1. Query regarding exp to meet dd2's health needs and resulting allergy issues.

1. The issue of exp trying to dominate/control, apply for residency etc.

as SS are obviously involved you could sir down with sw with a list regarding dd2 health issues and things to look out for. You could also give a bag with sunblock, hats and ecema cream and instructions how and when to use them.