What happens if he doesn't attend?

[izziewizzie]

If my ex doesn't attend court ordered mediation what happens? What I mean is will the court force him to attend or is this just going to prove another waste of everyone's time?

I have been to court to try to change dds surname, because he refused permission, I have been to a MIAM, he ignored three requests from the mediator to see her, so I had my FM1 and a "not suitable for mediation" decision, and yesterday he did not turn up to court.

The judge, in his wisdom has decided that my ex "could really use mediation" and has put down that he is to go to a MIAM.
He also feels that despite the fact I have had to bring this to court that if me and my ex could just attend mediation together it might get sorted. I have explained that I honestly do not think we can mediate, as I have tried and tried to reason over this and many other issues. And I did actually try to get us to mediation from the start!

He would not listen to anything I said, and is quite determined that ex must have a fourth chance to attend a session.
I am fairly certain he won't attend, but I just wondered if it will delay things even more now?

Ex not seeing dd directly or indirectly, and not turning up yesterday is still not enough it seems to actually make anyone listen to me.

So I am a bit fed up of it at the moment

Hi, this sounds so frustrating for you! Did the judge give any reasons as to why your ex should be given yet another chance? I know the courts are busy but he has had many chances? I suppose even so the court will eventually get fed up if he does not turn up again, I thought they really looked down on people not turning up at court? All you can do is give him one more chance, although it sounds like he is really trying to jerk your chain to be honest!

Thanks for the reply.

No real reason was given. I'm quite frustrated tbh. This was the first court hearing, and I had been advised that the judge would probably find in my favour, and on the day.

Ex hasn't seen her in 5 years, directly or indirectly, and dd has a "known as" surname and has had since two, so is not even linked to him in that way.

Judge wants Cafcass to interview dd to ascertain her wishes, which is fine, as I am doing it because she has asked, but she is only 6 so I don't know how she's going to be with them really.

Strange thing is, the judge said he was not opposed to what I was asking for, and that him not turning up had not gone in his favour, but that he might have a reason, and maybe the paperwork hadn't reached him, and was it the right address etc.

I don't know if it's arse covering, but it just seems to be giving him the chance to string this out, and then not turn up.

I would say his failure to mediate, or actually turn up to argue his case speaks volumes. But it doesn't it seems.

Yes I can see why its very annoying, but it seems that this would prob be his last chance, I know the family courts very much seem to be promoting mediation now as much as they can and its positive that they are giving your child a chance to express themselves, and the judge did not order immediate contact or anything.

If contact is granted then I am sure given the length of time your DD has not had any contact it would be very gradual. Its a shame but all you can do is wait and see if your ex responds at all. The fact he did not bother to go to court does not bode well for him though, I just can think the judge would give him another chance if he failed to appear again!

Good Luck!