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Legal matters

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FINANCIAL ORDER - I'M SELF REPPING - WILL NEED SOME HELP!!

58 replies

MrsC1969HJ · 09/06/2014 22:39

Hello all, I am really hoping for some help with this and would be so grateful for any input. Nasty separation following affair. H moved straight in with OW, wealthy, new widow. Immediately withdrew financial support, sacked me from his company, removed name from utilities and took credit balances, cancelled everything, even burglar alarm contract, house insurance everything. Left me on income support and MIR. I have been a SAHM for 5 years save doing admin for his company which I was paid a monthly salary for. Claimed he was up to neck in debt and couldn't support us. Financial disclosure has revealed a very different story. Living the most ostentatious lifestyle, gifts, holidays and fabulous social life lavished on OW and her child. Platinum credit card and Amex I didn't know about, all on a salary of £7K or so he claims. Has paid himself huge dividends but put them in my name (!), has no debt that has been disclosed. Has twice cancelled car insurance at 8 am in the morning meaning I couldn't take kids to school/nursery. Have a 15 yo DD (his step daughter) and we have a 3 year old DS who is currently undergoing assessment for ASD. Have got decree nisi on grounds of adultery. Oh and he also had a HUGE company turnover last year despite hardly appearing to work (£125K) but won't disclose business statements (only profit and loss account) and has refused to disclose credit cards. 4 months of mediation have failed, he just lies and talks rubbish. Am now applying to court. Have downloaded Form A and informed his solicitor, awaiting contact from her. I can't afford legal rep, family have been great and supported and paid for initial legal advice but can't expect them to fund this. Any advice? Thank you so much!

OP posts:
mistlethrush · 04/07/2014 22:40

I think you need a 1/2 hr wiht a solicitor - it might be that a criminal record (which he deserves based upon paying himself under your name) might mean that he benefits from lower rights to contact wiht DS. Given the background, I think that would be helpful in this case. (I would normally support a father's right to have a relationship with their child)

MrsC1969HJ · 04/07/2014 22:47

Oh mistlethrush I am several thousand pounds down with a solicitor paid for by my brother...my husband is a nightmare in terms of contact, you have been on my thread with the actual story, he has assaulted me, received a caution, lost his firearms licence, is a drug abuser (steroids, body building), cancelled my car insurance in the early hours, messes about with maintenance, brings my son back late and switches off phone, oh it's endless. He should have NO contact with DS and it will stop, he can't cope with it...the signs are there even now..! I totally support a father's right, totally, but some fathers just don't have the frickin' right and he is one of them!

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mistlethrush · 04/07/2014 23:22

Quite. That's why I think reporting him might actually be quite helpful to you!

notapizzaeater · 04/07/2014 23:33

Sounds like a prince - well rid .....

MeMyselfAnd1 · 05/07/2014 09:06

If you have been assaulted you don't need to waste your time in mediation, and may qualify for legal aid if your income is low enough. Did you report the assault to the police?

What you are asking for is not much, but as your solicitor said it is a small pot, so s/he may have been concerned that the pot would be depleted by the divorce costs and therefore leaving nothing to split between the parts by the end of it.

IMO, it is a waste of time to seek child maintenance through courts, because, if things are still the same as they were a few years ago, after a year, whatever arrangement you sorted out in court will expire and he would be able to revert to child maintenance as per the defunct CSA's recommendation. On a reported salary of £7,000 you would be getting about £27 a week provided both children live with you and he have them overnight less than 50ish nights a year. I'm afraid that when it comes to nrp having their own businesses (and some creative accountant), it is almost impossible to prove their income is higher than disclosed.

However, if you have a child who has a disability that prevents you from working, you may ask for spousal maintenance but on that reported income it is very unlikely that it would be substantial or even that it will be ordered. BUT, it may support your case that you need a bigger percentage of the equity to house yourself and your child(ren).

Which brings you back to the house, the important thing is how much is the equity and wether by selling the house, and splitting the proceeds, you will have the means to rehouse yourself. Another thing to consider is, if you have a mortgage, would you be able to buy him out or take on the mortgage if the house is transferred to you? If not, could you buy a smaller place? These are questions you need to ask yourself when defining what you want. I know a woman who fought hard to stay in the house and won, just to find out the house had to be sold anyway because she couldn't afford to keep it.

The big issue could be the ownership of the shares but, before you get into that, check what is the value of them, because it may be that by leaving the company your shares shall be sold back to the company for a nominal value. But, if you are allowed to keep them and they are bringing a dividend income to you, the court may like to have more details.

So, in a nutshell, count how much you will get and decide if that is worth the battle. I have an order that allows me to go back to ask more money from my ex if my circumstances or his change. I have decided not to use it because the amount of extra money I could get is much less than what I would pay to keep him away from us as he is at the moment.

I agree however that having an order is essential, to know where you stand and for your peace of mind,and bring some closure.

MeMyselfAnd1 · 05/07/2014 09:07

Good grief! What an essay! Apologies.

MrsC1969HJ · 05/07/2014 21:07

MeMyselfAnd1...I am BEYOND grateful for that post, essay or not! I am slightly wine addled so will come back to it tomorrow. Thank you so much x

OP posts:
MrsC1969HJ · 13/08/2014 21:29

Ladies, I am so sorry for long gap...lots has happened. I need to gather myself and post properly. We are in court on 17 October for first hearing. Will be needing some help I think! Thank you all for being here x

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