SEPARATION AGREEMENT

[Allycat]

Hi there.
I have now received the first draft of my separation agreement, written by my stbxh Solicitor.

Is there a matrimonial Solicitor out there who I could pm this to, that could give it the once over to make sure that all is as it seems.

I promise it is not that long or complicated. Things are amicable and very fair, I just want to make sure it isn't written in his favour.

Many thanks, Allycat

You really need your own independent legal advice. It makes a big difference where you live in the Uk. The law is different in Scotland than in England & Wales.

Thank you for your replies :-)

I have taken independent legal advice but my Solicitor is very keen to push for more as she doesn't think I am getting all of my entitlement.

Although i appreciate that her place is to get me the best outcome she can, I know that what she is asking will destroy my relationship with my stbxh and I feel retaining a relationship is more important for the children.

Thank you for your time x

Allycat, my solicitor was also keen for me to ask for more financially. For different reasons, I have not done this, largely because everything so far has been acrimonious and costly enough. I think if the issue is amounts, you need to be happy with it, as you are signing away your right to ask for anything else. With the child arrangements, these can ne revisited, but the money arrangements are final. If your relationship is amicable, I would suggest it should stand you asking for what is rightfully yours, which would be 50% of all assets. If you are talking about extra money for the children, again the question would be are the requests reasonable, i.e. contribution to childcare and schooling if that has been decided jointly. There could be the situation that you resent him if he is clearly doing better than you financially

You need to make sure that you have reserved the right to apply for child maintenance, we have a long paragraph on that and the way in which payments will increase etc.

I am not a lawyer btw.

Child maintenance through the CSA, I mean

I think it is better to think in terms of sharing the finances fairly instead of entitlement. From the legal POV what is fair depends on where you live in the Uk. Hence my question above.

If you live in England & Wales equality is leaving both spouses in a similar financial position to start independent lives rather than a mathematical 50:50 split. Whereas in Scotland assets are shared "fairly," usually 50:50.

In E&W a separation agreement isn't legally binding or enforceable. However if there are problems a separation agreement carries considerable weight and a court may make a binding and enforceable order in the same terms of the agreement if there was full disclosure, both parties took independent legal advice and the agreement is fair ie complies with s25 Matrimonial Causes Act 1973 and other law.

A separation agreement in Scotland is different and usually settles the finances on divorce once and for all. There is only one divorce decree and after the divorce has been granted it is difficult to have a separation agreement set aside, but it can be done if the agreement is deemed to be unfair.

I would talk to your solicitor who should be in possession of all the relevant facts, has knowledge and experience of the law and works with the courts local to you on a day to day basis. If your solicitor is keen to push for more it could be that in their opinion the agreement wouldn't be deemed fair which may cause difficulties at a later date.

I am in England STIDW.

My Solicitor has said that I could get an additional £400 a month as he is a high earner and also a 70/30 split on the house.

Currently, he is paying CSA figure plus £100 spousal. This is enough for me and the children to live on (with my earnings and tax credits).

I am buying him out of the house but have given up my rights to his pension in return so this kind of balances things out.

He said that if I took him to court for more spousal and a higher share of the house, he would resign from work!!!

He is blackmailing you with that, though. That is not the basis for an amicable split, that is you accepting what he wants for fear of rocking the boat. (not a judgement, I have done the same, for different reasons)

I am sure he enjoys a certain standard of living, so is unlikely to resign his job.

Sorry, also to say, I assumed you were in Scotland, apologies.

Please have a look at the LP boards to see just how easy it is for men to get out of maintenance payments. Ensure you get what you are entitled to as these men have a habit of suddenly earning below minimum wage meaning CSA payments go down to £5 pw.

By 'entitled to' I mean any lump sums, that is all you can really rely on, esp if he is already threatening to take away maintenance. IME this means they have already laid plans to get out of it anyway.

People who are separating often get angry and say things they don't mean. Threats to stop work to avoid paying maintenance aren't uncommon, but someone who earns enough to pay spouse maintenance won't usually carry out the threat. If they do, a career gap means they miss out on promotion and salary increases, and that has an effect on saving for their retirement so there is a lifelong negative impact on their finances. In my experience the few people who actually do carry out the threat are bullies and do it sooner or later when they don't get their own way regardless.

Obviously there is no point in making unreasonable demands, but the only way to deal with a bully is to make a stand against them otherwise their behaviour is likely to get worse.

Sadly they don't have to have a career gap - my ex is on around £60k pa and his company hide his pay for him to avoid CSA. Just be aware that this is relatively easy for NRP's, that's all I am saying.