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help needed. unhappy with courts decision regarding grandfather

7 replies

Rachellx · 14/05/2014 14:42

I have recently been taken to court by my other halfs father and been ordered to attend mediation. From that I have felt pushed into letting him see my daughter, which I agreed to hoping things would change. In the past he had not so much as asked how my daughter is for the previous 3 years and all of a sudden he wants to see her. The first meeting was meant to be somewhere such as a play centre but as I went down with pneumonia, I asked it to be at our home. My daughter is frightened by him as he is a stranger. But that's no excuse not to keep trying I suppose.

Begrudgingly made him feel welcome on both occasions and he was polite to me also. We agreed for contact to be as and when around our family and work commitments, he was fine with it. So we thought.

Last week at court he told his solicitor how find of him our daughter was, she wouldn't leave him alone etc, in fact she was scared of him and kept her distance. He went on to tell them I had a poor upbringing which is completely untrue. We heard these lies as he told his solicitor from the other side of the waiting room. He then said he wants to see her 4 hours every weekend. His solicitor made me feel bullied, especially when I rd her I work full time and I work over the weekends as does OH on Saturday's. I was tild she didn't understand why I won't allow GF to have my daughter on his own if this is the case, then went on to telling me to maybe leave my job as this is more important. I got it down to once a month with a fight, then it's been put for 6 hours for that one day. I get one day at the weekend off every month, this would take up 6 hours of my only weekend day, the only day I really get to spend time with OH and DD, I tried to explain this and was called unreasonable, they won't allow any visits within my home any more and they won't accept my offer of 2 hours on a weekend and an evening during the week maybe.

Hes been really two faced and they believe all his lies, even his own son has said the same as I have but we keep being told just because we're DDs parents, it's not an excuse to stop her having a relationship with this bitter man, I feel like iv been betrayed and bullied and I'm deeply upset that the one day off we both have to do something as a family now has to be spent with this lying manipulating man.

Iv read that grandparents have no rights, why is he being granted with all this while we, the parents are spoken to with disrespect and made to feel pushed into a decision.

What can I do?

OP posts:
eurochick · 14/05/2014 14:53

Is this the court's decision or something you agreed to at mediation?

Rachellx · 14/05/2014 14:59

I didn't agree to it at mediation but I was told if I don't agree then I Will be taken to court for being awkward or something along those lines. I was accused of being a bad mother because I was keeping them both from building a bond between them. At court I explained this to a legal adviser and told that despite the fact he has been to our house, it shouldn't sway the decision any way. Nothing about mediation was mentioned during the hearing or by his solicitor either.

OP posts:
eurochick · 14/05/2014 15:03

I'm very confused. You say in your OP that you were ordered to attend mediation but now you say that nothing about mediation was mentioned during the hearing.

Do you have your own solicitor?

Where is your OH in all this?

Rachellx · 14/05/2014 15:08

The first hearing we was ordered to attend mediation. we attended mediation and at the last and final hearing nothing about mediation was mentioned.

OH has been on my side and saying pretty much the same as I have even when we've been spoken to in different rooms.

I don't have a solicitor, I was told I wouldn't need one at the first hearing by cafcas and again I wouldn't need one at the next hearing (one just gone) as we would be basically signing off paper work. Despite not signing anything, theyv granted him with this one day for what I feel is a full day and copies will be sent in the post confirm this.

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 14/05/2014 15:11

Are you saying a judge has decided that he should have him and an actual judgement has been made ?

Because it sounds like you agreed to this outside of court?

cutefluffybunnes · 14/05/2014 15:14

I'm unclear what's happened here. But it is very clear that you do need a solicitor!

NationwideBarristers · 21/05/2014 17:31

If you need some guidance for future court appearances then consider looking at the bar council guidance on representing yourself at court. It may put you at ease before attending on the next occasion.

www.barcouncil.org.uk/media/203109/srl_guide_final_for_online_use.pdf

Unfortunately it has not been updated since the new child arrangement order has been introduced but it should be of some use. If you need representation then it may be worth considering instructing a barrister for the hearing only and for you to do the preparatory work... this is often the most cost effective way of proceeding.... Good Luck

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