Need to remove him from house&children help please

[bella1968]

My H has got scary with the emotional abuse to me and the children for months now possibly longer but more serious in the last 7 months.

I am at the point where I have contacted a solicitor and hope to go tomorrow. Please can someone advise what I need to do today to protect myself, I don't know how long an injunction takes to get or how it is passed to my h and I want to make sure I have everything in place just in case he starts throwing thing around again.I don't want my home damaged anymore or my children getting caught in the cross fire anymore!

Any advice would be extremely appreciated I am in panic mode today and really also need to know what legal stuff would be put in place, the solicitor was talking about a POP personal protection order but I ended him to have no contact with the children or our home until he seeks medical help for his anger issues.I'd have thought a occupation order was the way to go?

Thanks.

I don't know anything about legal orders but I would say the most important thing today is to try and act the same as usual so as not to tip him off.
If you wouldn't usually stand up to him or 'answer back' don't start today.

If you have access to paperwork regarding bank accounts, joint or otherwise, get it if you can, or email yourself statements if online.
Clear any joint accounts at the last possible minute.

If you have access to birth certificates and passports, get those too, leave with a trusted friend or family member if necessary.

If you need to leave in a hurry tomorrow (or any other day), don't get bogged down with trying to take as much as possible, take what you would miss the most if the house burnt down.
Everything else is just stuff.

Good luck.

Act 'normal' in the knowledge that you are starting the ball rolling on getting a better life for you and your children where you won't have to tolerate this violence anymore. confide in a trusted friend or relative so there is someone looking out for you - good kuck

Oh, and clear any Internet history.

Gather as much evidence of his behaviour as u can without setting off his alarm bells. have u reported the abuse? if not next time do!! witnesses?

I think your best bet is to contact Women's Aid - you can get the number if you google. I know you want the H out of the house, but he is very unlikely to just leave isn't he, and the most important thing is that you and the children are safe. Women's Aid can help with this - ok it will be in a Refuge, but at least you'll be safe. The legal issues about the house and contact with the children can be sorted out at a later date.

I think you need to gather all your personal possessions (passports/bank statements etc and have a bag packed with essentials for you and the children (what age are they?) and be ready to leave and absolutely don't tell him, because it has been proven that women are at most risk when they say they are leaving.

Phone Women's Aid today ....NOW if he's not around. If he is, then as soon as you are able. They deal with cases like this every day.

The trouble with legal remedies is they don't do anything to stop your H continuing to be emotionally abusive and can up the anti to physical abuse. I don't want to alarm you but there have been cases in the media where women have been killed by the H or partner when they have told him they are leaving.

Thanks for all your advice.I've secured what I can and I have a support worker.children are 10 and unfortunately he's asking them what to do now!! Crazy!

Is your support worker from Women's Aid. It's just that I've heard so many women in a similar situation to yourself speak so well of WA and of course this is something they are used to dealing with. Why is he asking the children "What to do" - if you are planning to leave (and I hope you are) please don't let him get wind of this at all. Does he work or will he be away long enough for you to gather what you need and leave. Forgot to ask if you have RL family/friends to help. Hope so.

Stay strong - men who emotionally abuse women although appearing strong and dominant are in reality just the opposite - they are insecure and weak and in fact emotionally dependent on their wives/GFs even though it doesn't look like this I know. But that's the reason why they have to dominate and be emotionally abusive.

Hope your kids are ok. You will need to be emotionally strong for them, even if you don't feel it, you will be taking the first step towards a safer happier life for you and your children.