Hi, I'll try not to make this too long but want to give all relevant info.
I have 4 kids, 2 with dp and 2 with exp. I left (abusive alcoholic) exp 7 years ago, took the kids and the clothes we were wearing and moved 200 miles to be with family. Exp (we never married) has pr for youngest (8) but not for eldest (11). Youngest is disabled and exp is ashamed of him and refused to follow treatment, meds or special diet, basically putting ds's life at risk. Since we left, exp has maliciously reported me to ss and dwp on multiple occasions, although not for a while. Both carried out investigations, cleared me ans left me alone.
Last time exp saw kids, I called the police and he was arrested for drink driving, I told him he was no longer having them unsupervised as he couldn't be trusted (eldest was in the car and had to tell her Dad that she needed her seatbelt and car seat) and if he wanted to see them it would have to be at a contact centre. That was the last time we saw or heard from him (almost 5 years ago now).
There are records of my complaints to police for harassment from him in the past - he would ring my house phone and mobile continuously when he was drunk, sometimes ringing 50+ times a night, if I answered he would scream abuse at me. One night I had to wake a neighbour in the early hours to ring an ambulance for ds as exp had tied up both lines. I changed both numbers on advise from police.
Exp is uncompliant with csa, and has built up substantial arrears (almost £10,000) And has a current wage arrestment, but leaves any employment within a month or two of the csa taking maintenance and goes back onto benefits to avoid paying maintenance.
Neither child has any interest in him - eldest remembers him going to the pub all the time and forgetting to feed and care for her, and she is scared of him (I've never bad mouthed him in front of them) youngest doesn't remember him at all.
If anything happens to me, I'd like my dp to keep all 4 kids, which is what he wants and dd has said she'd like to stay with him too - hes lived with us for 4 years, and treats the eldest 2 like his own, which they are as far as we're all concerned.
After all of that, my question is, would I be in trouble if I wrote to exp and offered to cancel csa and get them to write off arrears in return for him signing paperwork so that dp could adopt the older 2? He is twisted enough to refuse just because he can, or to report me to police for offering, and so I need to know it's not classed as buying a child or anything!
Sorry it's so long, didn't want to drip feed.
Thanks 