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Legal matters

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Separation, divorce and legal matters

6 replies

mari77 · 20/04/2014 01:20

Hello everyone I am new here.
My marriage is broken and beyond repair. My husband is abusive, menacing and forever angry. He has never laid a finger on me but in the last 2 years his campaign of abuse has reached deplorable levels. I thought the birth of our daughter last September would have changed him. No it got worse. He shouts and swears in front of her and only wants to look after her when it is convenient for him. So if there is football on he reluctantly takes her, for example. To add to that she is epileptic and as you may know stress is a factor in triggering seizures. I cannot say for sure it is his fault but he does not help. Even during the pregnancy he was not nice and when the moment of the birth came..... oh boy... it is much to painful to say. I had to force him to be there. Anyway yesterday he told me I can leave if I want to and move to Italy (where I am from) with her. I did ask him about seeing his daughter but did not seem bothered. I know better though. Because he is a bully, a nasty control freak once he really sees that I'm leaving he will raise hell. I recorded the moment he said I can go and live abroad (he said here in London I have no way to rent a place by myself and he won't pay a penny for me). Needless to say I have no income of my own and MAT pay is finished and with my baby the way she is now I don't think I can go back full time. Now my question is legal, is there anyone here who a tell me if verbal consent is enough for me to go to italy?
Tonight he woke her up with his shouting and she got strartled and then sezured. I cannot expose my baby to this and I won't go in a refuge because it is too confusing or her and knowing him he will destroy all my belongings and hers just to spite.
Sorry for the length of this post but I thought you needed info. Im desperate pls help.
Thanks

OP posts:
Strix · 20/04/2014 01:38

Good grief. He is horrid. And he cannot just opt out of fatherhood because he feels like it. Assuming he has an income, he is legally bound to child support. Talk to... Oh I don't know... but someone else will be along soo. Maybe start with CAS. Apply for emergency housing. I would think that with a baby with special needs you would be a priority. You might have to accept temporary housing (which is possibly not pretty), but it sounds much better than where you are now.

Perhaps HE could leave? Do you/he own the house you are in now?

Lonecatwithkitten · 20/04/2014 08:31

It is said a lot here, but you have many unusual circumstances such as your daughter and your desire to go home that early advice from a solicitor is going to be really helpful to you.

mari77 · 20/04/2014 08:42

Morning
Happy Easter and thank you both for your replies. Ok he does not want to leave the house (rented) and it spoke to a local office for women in need and they explained that if I apply for housing is very very likely not to be in the area where I am now. That's the catch, less than a mile away I have a trusted and very reasonably priced child minder. I have to think about even part time work and child care. The counsellor did say that it's important to have a baby sitter that I know and trust considering LO condition. We moved here to give her access to good facilities. If u could get hold of a Cab lawyer it would be great but they virtually never ever answer the phone. Talk about twisting the knife hey ;).

OP posts:
Lonecatwithkitten · 20/04/2014 10:57

You are in a situation where paying something for advice right now could save you lots in the future. Some family lawyers do give the first half an hour free.

babybarrister · 20/04/2014 15:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mari77 · 21/04/2014 10:31

Good morning babybarrister
Thank you so so much for your advice, you see I didn't even remotely think about the international legal issues.
I'm going to have a look at the website. Already this bit I advice is like gold to me.
Thanks again and best regards
M

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