Had a letter from the police about allegation against DP

[ControlGeek]

A week or so ago DP came back from getting a takeaway from a drive-through and told me about a lady who'd ranted at him because his car door had touched hers when he got out of the car. He was parked centrally in the bay (he is a total parking pedant, this does not surprise me) and he said she was very near the white line on his side but as he was waiting for an order he didn't have the option of parking further away. He had to get in and out of his car twice in order to speak to staff when they came onto the car park. They did have words, but not aggressive. She then got her food and drove off, and a while later DP got his and also left.

Yesterday he got a letter from the police - the woman has reported that DP was abusive to her, banged his car door against hers twice, causing damage to her car, then drove off. Apparently she doesn't want to take it any further, but if she had then the officer involved would have investigated with a view to charging DP with a public order offence and vandalism. If DP has since come to regret his actions and wished to apologise to the victim he should write to the officer involved who would send it on. Everything relates to 'incident occurred on', no alleged, purported etc, no request for DP's side of the story, and it mentioned that they have applied for copies of the CCTV images. Obviously they didn't bother waiting for these before sending the letter out.

DP's tried calling to speak to the officer, but he won't be in the office to take a phone call until Thursday evening now. The tone of the letter is really quite frightening and DP is stressed about how it makes him sound guilty without even hearing his side of this. Is this a standard letter/wording? When I worked in a solicitor's office (years ago albeit) we had to be so careful to write 'alleged' on everything!

So as not to drip feed, he has health issues that constitute a disability, but do not warrant a blue badge. Getting in and out of a car is quite difficult for him. I'm currently undergoing IVF, and will know the outcome Thursday/Friday so could really do without this extra stress.

I'm sorry, that was longer than I'd intended it to be.

Any advice would be really appreciated.

Sorry for the stress this is putting you under... But hitting someone's car door, even if they have parked badly, and even if it was by accident, probably means he should have apologised at the time. So I don't blame her for being annoyed. I would suggest he writes a letter in reply with his side of the story.

It's not good that they haven't waited to hear your DH side of the story. Whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty. I can't help with advice but there's a motoring forum on moneysavingexpert that might give you some advice if you want to post there.

The police haven't found him guilty. An allegation has been made but the woman concerned doesn't want to take it any further. If the woman did want to take it further the police would investigate which would include giving him an opportunity to give his side of the story. As she doesn't any investigation would be a waste of time. The OP's DP can apologise if he thinks he should or he can ignore it. Either way nothing further will happen.

Why not briefly write his version of events, so it's on record.
If he did damage her door, should have offered insurance details?

Silly question, how do you know if it is a genuine letter from the police?

Personally, I would ignore the letter. I wouldn't want to respond in case the response enraged her and she decided to take it further. It wouldn't be worth the hassle it could cause.

If she was parked close to the white line and he could see he would have difficulty getting out, why didn't he simply park further over in his space? I'm currently heavily pregnant and if I park centrally in a space then I struggle to get out of the car so I park slightly off-centre, as long as I am still within the white lines then how does that give someone the right to bash my car with their door???

Thanks all. I'm pretty sure it's a genuine letter as when DP rang 101 (the number given on the letter) and gave them the officer's badge number it was valid and tied in with the name given.

Insurance details weren't given because no damage was done - the door touched her door, it didn't bang it, it didn't put pressure on it. Thinking it over again at 2am (as you do), I'm now worried that she's going to try and use this to get our insurance to pay to fix some pre-existing damage she may have had to her car - I have no idea if there was any, this is just 2-in-the-morning panic thinking.

As for an investigation, the police have already requested copies of the CCTV footage.

prh47bridge The letter makes no mention of an allegation - 'I am writing with regard to an incident that occurred...' (emphasis is mine) - not 'an incident that is alleged to have occurred'.

DP's going to have to get in touch with our insurance, too, isn't he?

Hi geek. I think I would have your partner write back with his version of events, so those are on record, in case an insurance claim is made.

I would do an intro:
-I did park at X on date Y
-I did park next to a [car]
-I parked well within my space, neighbouring car was parked next to line, which made it difficult to get out
-Nonetheless, in spite of disability Z, I was very careful exiting my car

Next I would set out each allegation made and deny it where you can
-she alleges I caused damage to her car. This is not true, I exited the car very carefully
-she alleges I was abusive to her. This is not true , I [give details of what was said]

Make sure that nothing he writes can be contradicted if cctv is discovered.

Thanks euro that would work, and would save us having this hanging over us until Thursday evening. We could copy it to the insurance company at a later date if required then, too.

Poor DP was almost in tears over this last night. It happened on a day we'd had a bad shock with the IVF and he'd gone to the drive-through for a treat for us. He came back pretty shaken himself after it all.

The police really aren't interested in refereeing spats in a car park. However AIUI they do send out these letters to create a database of complaints - if your DP was at the centre of a few of them then they would probably think about taking it seriously.

I would second what eurochick said about writing back and I would also make sure to include "She says damage was done to her car however she did not mention this at the time and I am certain that no damage was caused to either vehicle." I'd also mention that she drove off before he did.

Definitely write to the police what really happened and keep a copy as sometimes these things become a problem later eg she might change her mind and want to press charges or she might bring a bogus insurance claim.

The CCTV should help prove things one way or another.

I would ignore it and forget it.
The Police do not find people guilty, only courts do this.
I very much doubt you will hear from them again.

ControlGeek - The woman in the other car has clearly made an allegation regardless of whether or not the police used the word in their letter.

I would ignore it as they are not requiring a response.

I'm also unsure why she complained but declined to take it further - what could be the purpose of that?

We decided, for our own peace of mind, that DP putting his side of things forward was important. Ignoring it felt, to us, like DP was accepting the version of events the woman gave. DP's now written a letter along the lines of euro's suggestion. This also means we have a full record, should we need it, if we are contacted by our insurance company. We've also asked for confirmation of the log/case number as this was not included in the letter.

We've been out and had a look and there don't appear to be any CCTV cameras pointing anywhere near where DP was parked that day. Unfortunate, but I suppose they can't cover all angles and parking bays.

prh47bridge yes, the other woman has clearly made an allegation, but I have been taught that, thanks to the UK's innocent-until-proven-guilty rule, up until something has been proven in a court of law it is a requirement that all communications do not refer to the event as a given, as it has not yet been proven. This is why newspaper headlines are so careful to use inverted commas to imply that something is not exactly as stated, eg geek 'murdered' neighbour's hamster, or alternatively attribute the statement to a person or source, eg Neighbour says Geek murdered her hamster. At the point of writing the letter, the police officer had no way of corroborating the woman's report that anything at all had happened - she may have been harbouring a rather sour grudge about a queue jumper for all the police officer knew. So yes, the use of 'alleged' or some other indicator of it being unconfirmed is important at this point.

As you are all rightly saying (thank you for calming me down!) it's highly unlikely that anything will come of this, but we now feel that we have covered ourselves against all eventualities by putting DP's side of things forward.

*no hamsters were harmed in the writing of this post.

I'm afraid you have been taught incorrectly. There is no such requirement in law. The use of quote marks in newspaper headlines and similar is to avoid being sued for libel. As the police officer was writing directly to your DP he cannot be sued for libel based on the contents of the letter so that is not a consideration.