Domestic Abuse being ignored by court and CAFCASS

[bobcat1978]

Hi Im in desperate need of some advise. I split with my abusive ex 2 years ago and then spent a year trying to get him to have contact of some description with my son. The ex continually used this contact to continue abusing both my son and myself so eventually I cut contact. LAst summer he thought I had a new partner and intended on moving so he took me to court for contact. Initially the court ordered indirect phone access. My ex made a few calls but did not actually bother speaking or making an effort and these eventually trailed off. Next hearing I produced recordings of the calls and various other evidence and they decided he could have Skype access instead twice a week. My son has refused to talk to him every single time right from the start and is wetting the bed, having nightmares and severe behaviour issues because of this access. I have just had a section 7 welfare interview with cafcass and although making all the right noises when I explained the situation and my sons nursery providing a report stating my sons behaviour is directly linked to the contact she has decided she is recommending supported access at a place that is not a contact centre, that has no trained staff and no one else is to be present!!!!! This is not supported access. I have had legal advice but I am being told if I complain to CAFCASS this will most likely go against me.

My only option it seems is to put my little boy at risk or be in breach of the court order which I have no doubt my ex would jump up and down about to get me held in contempt and punished in some way.

Any ideas?

but it sounds as though there is not yet any court order, is there?

You have to tell the judge you strongly disagree with what Cafcass have recommended, and ask that the Cafcass officer is directed to attend court so you can challenge the report. Then you put your points across, and it will be your chance to persuade the judge not to accept the recommendation.

Keep a careful log of each and every 'contact' session, every Skype attempt, and every reaction by your DS.

Bear in mind, however, that CAFCASS often point out that children get upset when they are in the middle of a conflict - so it may be impossible to know whether your DS is upset due to the contact attempts, or upset because you and his father are in a dispute and he is picking up on your stress and anxiety. Your DS must have been very young when these abusive events happened, can you really be confident that he was aware of them and would remember them?

also cafcass usually say that children ate entitled to a relationship with both parents, provided it can be safe. So you may need to be ready for a supervised contact centre at least, and in most areas that costs money.