legal matter - gaining consent with children

[Mrsmorrison13]

Hi all, I wonder if anyone can help?

My dh has 2ds ds1 is currently being assessed for ADHD and dyslexia, he is 8.

The referral was initially made by his mum whilst ds was at nursery , dh did not know a thing about this despite the fact the were still very much a married couple at that time, that together with the fact we disagree with the referrals from what we know of the evidence from school and what we see In our home. School don't see any problem , I appreciate having read up in these that there may well be a problem and that he may chose when to let it out so I'm staying impartial until the experts have done their thing.

Dh understandably unhappy at only finding out by accident (headteacher let slip then panicked about doing so )about this 2 weeks ago when it's been going on for 4.5 years.

What he wonders is can we legally enforce that joint consent has to be granted for any future evaluations ? Not that he would stop it just merely to be kept informed ?

Initially school said he was not legally entitled to any info about his ds except end of term report - which never mentioned anything about this , but since making a request under data protection act they have back tracked ?

Help please ?

Your husband has parental responsibility for his children. That means he is entitled to receive the same information from the school as the mother. It also means that he has the right to be consulted about certain matters including medical treatment. If he and his ex cannot agree he can go to court for a prohibited steps order (to stop her from doing something) or a specific issue order (to resolve an issue).

He might find it useful to remind the school of the DfE guidance on information for non-resident parents which can be found here.

Thank you x

they must send him a copy of every letter home or email, he should nbe informed of things like nativity plays eyc so if 2 tickets per child he and ex get one each she can't decide he can not go as she is taking her sister instead; if there are trips he as well as mother need to consent if one says yes and the other no he does not go unless court orders otherwise

in emergency situations the consent of one parent is enough like if the child has an accident at one parents house and he is taken to A&E they consent for treatment and get in contact with other parent, however for less urgent non compulsory treatment he can veto or she can like vaccinations braces on teeth etc

presumably there is some backstory as to why so little communication

Hi thank you , the last time I said this in here I got shot down in flames by the older mumsnet posters lol but basically the lack of communication is in my opinion based on the fact that his mother thrives on people feeling sorry for her. Ie she had told the school that when she made initial referral that despite being in a happy marriage with my now dh she could not bring herself to discuss it with him and was waiting to see any results if tests etc, in essence she enjoys that she tells her friends that she is a lonely single parent with so many woes etc etc when actually that's how she had chosen to be. My dh had crappy limited access and waves more but yet she is constantly moaning about the kids being too much work but that's how she wants it, she says she gets no support but that's how she wants it as he tries everyday to communicate with her but she refuses. She just loves sitting round at the school coffee mornings having everyone feel sorry for her and now a this rubbish regarding ADHD is pathetic , the docs the school and us say there's no problem but she's like a dig with a bone ! She just wants attention x