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Legal matters

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To prepare or do nothing - PSO

6 replies

Balanced12 · 11/01/2014 04:33

Another falling out with my daughters father, this time he has allowed his girlfriend and her friends to make sexual and nasty remarks about my daughter (age 2) on his fb page (personally not happy about having pictures of her on their either). She also comes back from visits upset and with strange ideas (eating breakfast makes you fat for example). I have asked for remarks to be removed and i've been told to get a sense of humour.

Previously he has never been consistent, and often forgets to collect her from nursery as he's asleep, and often verbally nasty and aggressive.

From this last incident I have told him again if you do not protect her from psychological and emotional harm and are not consistent in having her your not taking her ( I have constantly tried to help with access, dropping her off, picking her up changing times to his convenience) He left when she was 12 weeks then made no contact for over six months since then it has been ad hoc.

This results in his default position of 'i'm going to take her from nursery and ill look after her' which panics me, although he always said things along this theme but never any action.

Do I:

a: apply for a PSO so he can not remove her from nursery without my permission

b: move nurseries and not tell him

c: also apply for a contact order in order to ensure consistency

d: nothing, wait how long it takes him to get in touch to see her again
(what would I do then let him have access or not) or if he tries to take her.

e: Is there a solution i'm just not seeing

Part of me doesn't think he could be bothered to complete a court order and pay a fee (he can't turn up to collect her).

From what other people have to deal with and access is still granted I don't think legally I can stop access but i'm not happy with taking 2-3 days every two weeks to get her calmed back down (after she spent the weekend with him) and trying to remove the rubbish being put into her head.

Help as a mother im told I have the power but the reality is I feel like I have none.

OP posts:
CrispyCrochet · 11/01/2014 04:56

I'm sure you'll get some great advice OP from mums in similar positions I have no experience in this area (I was going to write unfortunately there but really it's very fortunate I don't have any! Err... Sorry...) But IMO her father sounds like a real winner... You definitely need to protect her from people who sound like they aren't taking parenting serious enough.

Best of luck with your difficult situation. I think as long as you have DD's best interest in mind whatever you decide to do will be the right decision.

RudolphLovesoftplay · 11/01/2014 05:02

I have no experience of this either, sorry. But I would get screenshots of every horrible thing posted on FB about her to use as evidence if necessary.

Balanced12 · 11/01/2014 05:36

Thank you to you both, I have taken screen shots.

Thinking about trying sleep followed by legal advise atm

OP posts:
NomNomNom · 11/01/2014 06:20

Definitely get legal advice. Threatening to pick her up and keep her is not on.

However, a contact order can't force him to be more consistent. The way it works is that if you refuse to let him see her, he can then apply for a contact order to force you to let him see her at specific times. It doesn't work the other way round to make crappy parents turn up on time etc.

It sounds like you've got your daughter's best interests at heart and are legitimately worried. Good luck.

RalphLaurenLover · 11/01/2014 15:37

I personally would stop for the following reasons:

  1. He's threatening to keep her.
  2. He thinks emotional abuses is a joke.
  3. He can't be bothered to stick to times arranged.
  4. He knows you'll let him get away with it.

I'd let him take you to court (if he could be bothered) and ask for some time of supervised access. Also I'd ask for a residency order on the basis he keeps threatening to keep her.

Balanced12 · 12/01/2014 18:43

I didn't know that about the contact order, so maybe I just need a residency order.

Thank you, I feel I am now armed with the right questions to be asking a solicitor.

OP posts:
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