Enforcing Court Ordered Contact

[FatherOfBoy]

Hi, first time poster so plese be gentle.

My ex and I have a son together and from minute one she has made contact very difficult (not telling me he was born, not including me on his birth certificate amongst other things). Eventually, after us attending mediation and it becoming obvious that it wasn't assisting I went to court and was granted parental rights and responsibilities along with frequent contact (every second weekend he's stay with me and I would also see him on a Wednesday night for dinner). This was in 2011

For the most part, the court order was stuck to initially. But my ex liked to take liberties so I had weeks in summer where I didn't see him at all and any time she was off her work I would be told I wasn't getting to see him. Then last year, he was taken out of the country without my knowledge or consent, along with multiple occasions where I was not allowed to see him for no legitimate reason.

Last night was the final straw, I arrived to collect my boy for our usual Wednesday night together only for no one to be in the house at all. I then went to her parent's house to find that my son was there and that I was not going to be allowed to see him. The ex's dad then accused my fiance or my mother of burning or cutting my boys hair (untrue) and that "other things have been happening to him". None of which I know of and he wasn't giving me any more detail than that.

My fiance got in touch with the police as she didn't take being accused of child abuse lightly. For my part, I am going to have to get in touch with a solicitor again and attempt to hold her in contempt of court due to ignoring the order in place. Does anyone have any experience of holding someone in contempt of court? It's obviously going to cost a decent bit of money (although no price can be put on my son) but will it actually enforce her to stick to it?

I am at my wit's end with this, I just want to be the best father to my boy that I can be and being denied this because of a feckless mother is infuriating and heartbreaking.

Thanks

Courts are unlikely to hold her in contempt of court - even if she is repeatedly denied contact (although I have heard of a few cases).

If this is the first time she has denied contact it's probably not worth considering returning the matter to court. You are unlikely to get anywhere if it's an isolated example - you would need to establish it is a pattern of breaking a court order.

I would recommend concentrating on re-establishing contact - don't waste time trying to punish your ex.

Google Families Need Fathers if you need support too!

Thanks for the reply.

It isn't the first time she's done it - I haven't seen him yet this year despite having had two court ordered contact spells in this time. In addition, would the times she refuses to let my boy see me when she is off her work on holiday be constituted as a pattern?

I'm desperate to re-establish contact, but all communication from me to his mum is ignored. Phone calls, voice/text messages have got no response at all. He's now also coming to the door when I go to collect him and saying that he's not coming, then running back through to his mum and telling her "I told him, there you go". He's only 5, and nowhere near old enough for him to be able to decide this for himself.

It is a judgement call - the longer she has denies contact, the stronger your argument for enforcement...but also the stronger her argument for it being a change in status quo.

If you've missed two lots of contact in succession (something like two weekends) and it happens a third time it may be time to return it to court. Make sure you have everything documented and have records of the emails and attempts you have made to contact your ex (and she has ignored) to demonstrate you have no other avenues open to you to resolve the matter.

Solicitors will usually advise you to put an application (which could takes months to get to court) and will still takes weeks even if it is an enforcement application.

Depending on your circumstances it may be worth going for an emergency application - take a position statement to the court and ask to see the judge. It may or may not work but you may find a hearing much sooner than by doing anything else. It's something I've done whilst assisting people as a McKenzie Friend a few times now.

Don't hesitate whatever you choose to do though - the longer you leave it, the harder it may be to recover the situation.

Once again, thank you for replying.

It's an awkward one. Last year when she withheld him from contact I advised my solicitor to write to her advising we were going to seek to find her in contempt. I had hoped that it would be a warning shot across the bows so to speak and since then in the most part the contact has been stuck to.

With regards to McKenzie Friends, are they available in Scotland at all? I think there is something similar, but it has only recently been introduced. I'd represent myself if I could, but I'd be terrified of getting something so important so terribly wrong. As his mum only works part time she gets legal aid for court proceedings whereas I do not. I've already spent thousands on court, I'm reluctant to do it again when the money could be spent on better things for my son.

Ooo - didn't realise you were in Scotland! Not my area, but I think it's similar in this respect:

www.fnfscotland.org.uk/news/tag/mckenzie-friend

FNF Scotland will be able to help you out with specific questions - they're very active and give a lot of help.

With regard to representing yourself, unless it's a complicated case (and yours doesn't sound to be one of them) with some good assistance you would probably be fine.

I will have to get to my local Families Need Father's meeting - there is one round the corner from my work but it's not on again until next month. If I was able to get some lay assistance then I probably would feel a bit better about it all.

Suppose it would be a question of whether I hold her in contempt or try to enforce the order, or both?

It may be different in Scotland - I wouldn't like to say! If you were in England or Wales I'd say go for enforcement, but as it's a different legal system there...

In a rush just now and I'll come back but there are no specific enforcement procedures (or McKenzie Friends) in Scotland and you would need to start contempt procedures as advised by your solicitor, or apply for a variation of the existing order.