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Original poster

Help Ex Husband wants kids passports when he goes to Dubai

24 replies

Goldwyn · 20/12/2013 17:13

Does this sound right to you? My Ex-husband (pilot) and his new wife (trolley dolley) are heading off to live in Dubai. He has just requested that he have our children's passports to take with him to Dubai when he leaves in a few day's time.

Our three children have always lived with me full time in the UK. He only wanted to see the children once every 12 weeks or so and I would think that the kids will only see him once/twice a year now that he is leaving to live there.

He says that his new employer needs to see their passports in order to allow their concessionary travel though I think it's to try and get a bigger accommodation for him and his new bride.

I am very uneasy about giving him my children's passports, particularly because of where he is heading. Does anyone have any similar experience?

OP posts:

CatAmongThePigeons · 20/12/2013 17:16

I wouldn't give passports over unless the children were accompanying them to Dubai, really, he has no need for them.

princessalbert · 20/12/2013 17:18

It sounds quite odd to me.

But I don't have any experience of this or legal knowledge.

Hopefully someone kids helpful will come along.

lougle · 20/12/2013 17:18

Tell him he can take copies of their birth certificates and he can arrange certified copies of the passports, and that if there is a time when it becomes necessary for the children to travel there, you'll sort out the passports then.

TheProvincialLady · 20/12/2013 17:21

What if you wanted to take the children abroad, even for a day trip to France? It's a ludicrous request. No way would I let the passports out of my sight. I would allow him to pay for certified copies to be made but I wouldn't hand them over. They are too important.

Original poster

Goldwyn · 20/12/2013 17:26

Thank you very much for the replies and it's just confirmed what I was feeling all along.

This site is filled with wonderful people, thanks again.

OP posts:

EirikurNoromaour · 20/12/2013 17:27

Of course not! Their passports stay with them, wherever they are.

clam · 20/12/2013 17:32

Not in a million years!
Could he have a photocopy of the relevant pages? If not, tough. It's not up to you to help him get a larger house. The risk is too great, anyway.

CwtchesAndCuddles · 20/12/2013 17:37

My father work in the UAE years ago and the documentation he had to provide was unbelievable. Our original birth certificated actually needed to be officially endorsed by the British Embassy there before thay were accepted as genuine!

Depending on who he will be working for it is quite possible he is telling the truth - especially if it is UAE government or UAE owned business.

3bunnies · 20/12/2013 17:38

He can produce their birth certificates and tell them that there is no requirement for British citizens to have a passport unless they travel abroad but if/when they come over he can show them. Are your dc likely to be availing themselves of the concessionary travel?

CwtchesAndCuddles · 20/12/2013 17:39

Just to add - when dad was leaving his job for good I had to send my passport out by courier so that my visa could be cancelled as they wouldn't let him leave the county until that had been done!

I can't remember if he had to take our passports out with him when he first went out.

kilmuir · 20/12/2013 17:41

We lived in middle east and we had to show passports for visas to visit etc.

NatashaBee · 20/12/2013 17:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lavenderhoney · 20/12/2013 17:47

No, sounds very odd to me, and I live here! You might not get them back.

He may have in his contract that the dc will live there, and be trying for school fees as well, which is fraudulent. If you ever get the passports back they will have residence visas in them.

It all sounds very dodgy to me. Be super careful he won't be whisking the dc off as well.

Also, if you take the dc to visit him in dubai he can insist they stay as he is the father and there won't be anything you can do, even if you have a return flight- your dc won't be on it. Get some legal advice, even if you are divorced.

tribpot · 20/12/2013 18:00

Not in a million years. He should feel free to ask other colleagues with non-resident children how they managed this when he first starts.

YoDiggity · 20/12/2013 18:07

Giving him the passports can't do any harm if he doesn't have the children can it? Worst that can happen is that he doesn't return them and you claim they are lost and get new ones.

Unless you think the children are at serious risk of being kidnapped, and it doesn't sound as though you think that at all.

His company will insist on seeing original documents if he is going to be receiving company benefits for them.

YoDiggity · 20/12/2013 18:08

of course what Lavender said is very likely too - he may be trying it on a bit and claiming for the full family package as if they lived there.

Fairylea · 20/12/2013 18:12

Give him copies but nothing else. Especially considering where he is going.

I'd also write to the caveat department informing them that the children are not to travel without your consent and you being present. I did this in 2004 when ex was being a dick and threatening to take dd to Thailand. When we had moved on and he wanted to take her to Disney for a holiday last year they still rang me to check which I was both surprised about given the timescale and relieved they had taken it so seriously. (I was fine with him taking her on holiday by then by the way).

desertgirl · 20/12/2013 18:28

Well I work for an airline, in Dubai, and the only time they have ever had my kids' passports is when they were applying for (residence) visas for them on my behalf. In terms of concessionary travel, they don't need original passports; I think they needed 'original' birth certificates for my immediate family to qualify for travel benefits (had to go and get long form certificates for myself and my siblings, to prove siblinghood as the short ones we got at birth didn't show full parent details).

I don't think he's thinking it through either, as the passports without the children won't have entry stamps on them, so won't convince anyone the children are living with him.

Don't give him the original passports. PM me if you like and I can either clarify the exact requirements of his employer or put you in touch with someone who can.

PerditaMcLeod · 20/12/2013 18:43

If he needs documentation to prove their entitlement to staff travel, a copy of the birth certificate or passport should suffice. I work for an airline and don't think I had to produce anything to get dd onto my concessions.

CrazyOldCatLady · 20/12/2013 21:15

My sister worked in the UAE and had to hand in her passport to her employer when she arrived. She was there for 9/11 when loads of people were leaving in case of trouble, and had to stay because she couldn't get it back till her contract finished.

He may well have been asked for them, but I certainly wouldn't hand them over if I were you.

Lavenderhoney · 21/12/2013 05:19

Its illegal for companies to hold your passport in the UAE, but many do anyway. My friend didn't think anything if it til she needed to fly urgently to her dying df and couldn't get on a flight as it was the weekend and hr were off and uncontactable and no one else knew the safe password.

Call his airline yourself and ask for rules on concessionary travel.

YoDiggity · 21/12/2013 05:25

You can get photocopies attested as authentic by a solicitor for a small fee. That should suffice if he insists he needs originals. You could contact the HR department of his airline and ask them.

YoDiggity · 21/12/2013 05:25

You can get photocopies attested as authentic by a solicitor for a small fee. That should suffice if he insists he needs originals. You could contact the HR department of his airline and ask them.

mathanxiety · 21/12/2013 05:53

Everything LavenderHoney said. It's very important to understand that as father he has rights in Dubai that a mother does not have.

I would ask him to provide documentation of his company's policy and to have it sent to you directly from the company and not through him.

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