contact for non resident parent

[dodo1967]

Can the courts force my child to see his dad who doesn't live with us. My son is eleven and made a decision not to see his dad any more. I have checked with my son on and off if he is still ok with his choice and he is. Now I have received a letter from mediation centre asking to speak to me and to mediate. I have in the past pushed the two of them together when his dad has done something to create a problem to stop the contact. Now my son is older he decided that he doesn't want to see his dad any more. Can the [smilecourts force my son to see his dad? Thanks

The court can do anything it feels is in the best interests of your son - including contact orders, etc.

His opinion is definitely important as a result of his age, but it is not the only factor however. There are also a number of options that can be explored.

Children's views are considered in light of their age and maturity but they aren't determinative.

Most children love their parents want a relationship with both parents. IF they don't it's important to understand the reason why. Sometimes it's because of loyalty conflicts so the child feels seeing the other parent is disloyal to the parent with the majority of care or say they don't want contact because they think that is what the parent with the majority of care wants. Other times children may resist contact because of events they can reasonably describe such as witnessing outbursts of temper at handovers or domestic abuse. Or children may find contact boring because of parenting limitations of the parent with the minority of care.

It's unusual for no contact to be ordered because children who are insecure about their identity and natural parents tend to grow up with with low self esteem leading to emotional and behavioural problems later. When children are found to resist contact because of loyalty conflicts the problem may be resolved by the parent with care giving children reassurance and permission to have a relationship with the other parent.

However if it is found children resist contact because they witnessed outbursts of temper or abuse or find contact unrewarding courts may put measures in place to ensure contact is safe and meaningful. Options include indirect contact (letters, emails, phone calls), supervised contact, contact in a contact centre, separated parent information programs, anger management, mediation or professionals working with the family.

Thanks for your reply.
Its such a tricky one tbh , my son hasn't had much contact with his dad , its been me all along trying to create some kind of bond because his dad threw us both out when my son way 22 months old , so not really been there for him . My son used to cower behind me on occasion's because he didn't want to go out , and that was terrible to see . I think I will have to go with the flow and see what comes out of all of this .

As regards to children growing up with a low self esteem leading to emotional and behavioural problems later , this can not be applied to every child and my child is very happy and secure and feels no guilt at all , because his father has not been there for him at all and lets him down all the time , this in turn would create the insecurity , but I do understand what you mean . Oh haent we got a lovey journey ahead .