How to separate/find a lawyer when not married

[HostageToTeens]

Can anyone advise me how to find a lawyer to help deal with a separation from my partner of more than 20, unmarried, years? Our house and mortgage is in my name as are our savings, as I have been the higher earner and have invested an inheritance. We have two children, one now an adult, that live at home. How do I work out finances such as how much money I have to give him and still afford to stay in our house.

You don't necessarily have to give him anything, given that the house is in your sole name. Living with someone for so many years doesn't confer in anyone a right to claim against the others property.
He will have to establish a pre-existing interest in the property using established legal principles such as:

1. Constructive trust
2. Resulting trust
3. Proprietary Estoppel.

None of this is based on what may be fair (let's face it we all have differing views on that).

You need to take some legal advice, as the law in this area is not terribly clear. Generally though it can be hard to claim an interest in someone else's house.

As Collaborate says, you are in a much stronger position than you would have been if you'd been married.

Let him make the first move. His solicitor will advise him that he's in a weak position and that he should try to negotiate a lump sum payment to avoid both of you having to pay the costs of litigation, but be very firm, it's up to him to persuade a court that he has an entitlement, it isn't automatic.

Thanks for the advice. He keeps talking about our joint asset so I wasn't sure. We also have a holiday cottage, I paid the deposit with an inheritance and have paid the mortgage and all the bills, but his name is on the mortgage and deeds so I assume he will make a claim on that one? The only capital in it is the deposit that was my inheritance. Any advice on that? Or any recommendations of how to find a lawyer?

I'm not overly experienced in this, but I used a family lawyer when separating from ex who I had been with for 10 years. Worth ringing around and seeing what advice you can get. Other than that I can be no help. Good luck

How old is the child who is still a minor, and who is the main carer?

The best interests of the child may come in to this, and if he is main carer then he might seek an order allowing him to stay in the house until the younger reaches majority/end school.

I'm the main carer and the child is nearly 18. Can I ask pink bear82 where you found a family lawyer? I'm reluctant just to use yellow pages as my neighbour did that and was totally screwed by her ex husband as her lawyer wasn't very good.