50/50 childcare share between parents and countries?!

[shypuffin]

Hi, I'm in a pretty difficult situation. I stupidly moved to rural France with my partner and 4 month old twin babies (born in the UK) 2 years ago but it's just not working out for me. My partner and I argue all the time and have decided we want different things out of life. He wants to stay here long-term but I feel totally isolated and want to return to the UK where I have a support network and means of income.

After an horrendous 6 months we've agreed we need to split up but he is insisting on 50/50 custody and since it's illegal to take children out of their country of residence without both parents' permission I feel I have to agree to that. The twins have just turned 2 so this would mean they live with him for one month in France and then me for the next month in the UK but I just don't know how that would work from a financial/logitical or emotional point of view. When I approached a specialist law firm in France they told me that to get legal permission to return to the UK with my kids permanently would cost about 15000 euros and I would only have a 50% chance of winning (and that was when I was breastfeeding!)

Do I have any other options?

Realistically longer than they've lived exclusively in France... And you need to avoid them being enrolled in French school, receiving major medical treatment here, even speaking much French because all of those things will be looked at and considered. In fact at the moment they have very little connection to France beyond the fact they live here and have done for longer than they live in the UK.

Your chances aren't necessarily going to improve as they get older with a 50/50 split. As the law firm pointed out breastfeeding would have been a huge argument in your favour - maternal influence decreases as children get older and they will start to integrate into French society which will make it harder and harder to prove that being with you in the UK is in their best interests.

I still think your best bet is to get legal advice. It may be best for you getting majority custody initially in a French court and then work on legally taking them to the UK once the custody arrangement is stable but only a lawyer with experience can help you.

Your local "barreau" should have free drop-in sessions where you can ask lawyers for advice. I can't help further w/o knowing where you are, but feel free to PM me and I'll try and find out where you could get information, if you like. Off to do school run now, but will be back in a few hours.