If he dies before me.......

[bubblybottom]

Ok. A bit of history.
Me and DP. 5 kids between us. None together
My dd(13), and ds1(9) and ds2(7) have different fathers(2 of)
His ds1(17) is his ex dw from previous rel and his ds2(7) is his.
My boys see their DF each weekend and have a good relationship with him. My dd doesn't see her DF at all and she would upon my death live with my sister and her DH.(I think!)
His ex dw is an alcoholic and has been granted an hour twice a week supervised contact.
My question is this. What would happen if he died before me? Where would his ds2 go? Obviously my first thought is that he would stay right here in his family home with me. But it's much more complicated than that.
My DPs parents live in Cyprus. His sister lives in london(no children)
Dss mat GF lives in Llandudno, and his aunty lives locally.
Where does this come on the legal spectrum?

I would want him, but so would all these other people! His pat grandparents and auntie would be happy for me to have him, but where would I stand with the rest of the mat family!!???
Just trying to plan for the future(I am admittedly a bit weird, in that I always expect the worst, not the best)

You need to sit down together, discuss all the possible scenarios - you die first, he dies first, you both die in a car crash together etc - and work out what you would want to happen in terms of who they would live with and who would support them financially. Then you both make wills specifying exactly who you would want to be guardians in the different cases.

If there are surviving parents, even if they do not currently have any kind of residential contact, that presumably makes things more complicated, so you probably need to talk to a lawyer before drawing up wills. As far as I know, there are no hard and fast rules (I'm not a lawyer, though).

You could get parental responsibility for step-son but you'd need either mother's consent or a court order. He should make a will will a guardianship clause in your favour, but that will only take effect when the mother has died.

Alternatively you'd have to apply for a residence order if your parented were to die and there are no safeguards in place. Not the ideal thing to have to do if you're also dealing with a death.

1. decide between you and DP and with DC input as appropriate where children would live if one of you died and then if you both died.
2. who has parental responsibility for DS2 ?It may be appropriate for you to apply for parental responsibility but you will need the mother's consent or a court order. Family lawyer can advise.
3. make wills appointing appropriate guardians in different scenarios but bear in mind that these can be overturned by the court. Would your DD's father want her in the event of your death ? If so then your sister could have a fight on her hands. If not then the appointment should stand.

It's not unheard of for the step-parent to be given guardianship in appropriate circumstances. The most famous case I can think of is Bob Geldolf taking custody of his ex-wife Paula Yate's daughter with Michael Hutchence after they both died. Apparently Michael's parents in Australia wanted her but the courts ruled that it would be better for her to stay in the UK ( she had never been to Australia apparently and didn't know her grandparents) with her half-sisters. All depends on circumstances.

poshfrock the appointment of a testamentary guardian only takes affect if there are no others alive with PR. In OP's case it wouldn't take effect until the mother also dies.

Guardianship serves to grant parental responsibility. Where there is a dispute over where the child shall live then one party needs to apply to the court for a residence order if negotiations can't resolve it.